


The Lifeguard

by Kiskillingit



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: And beebo because, Bandom but really joshler centric, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sad Tyler, anxiety disorders, slowburn, the lifeguard au no one asked for, they're in sunny california
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:04:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6952183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiskillingit/pseuds/Kiskillingit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If Tyler wasn’t in Twenty One Pilots, um, I feel pretty confident to say that he would be a lifeguard at, um, at a beach."- Josh Dun<br/>“If Josh wasn’t in the band Twenty One Pilots, uh I bet he, he’d probably be, um, at a beach, uh, swimming when you’re not supposed to be swimming."- Tyler Joseph</p><p>Inspired by this interview Tyler is a lifeguard, and Josh swims when he's not supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I need you to stay

**Author's Note:**

> “If Tyler wasn’t in Twenty One Pilots, um, I feel pretty confident to say that he would be a lifeguard at, um, at a beach. Um, because we’ve gone to beaches together and there’s so many times when there’s the chair for the lifeguard but there’s nobody there, and there’s nothing that makes Tyler more upset than that because he realises how many lives are at danger when there’s no lifeguard sitting there. And I think he really feels the responsibility to fill that role, to sit in that chair and make sure everyone’s safe, uh, from sharks and from drowning. Um, because if you swim to close after eating then you will drown and Tyler knows that. Um, so I think that it’s safe to say that’s what he would be doing if he was not in Twenty One Pilots.“  
> -Josh Dun
> 
> “If Josh wasn’t in the band Twenty One Pilots, uh I bet he, he’d probably be, um, at a beach, uh, swimming when you’re not supposed to be swimming. And you know it just really bothers me y’know when you’re supposed to- like there’s certain times when you should swim; and it’s when there’s a lifeguard there available to help you. You know, he, he likes that adventure he likes uh, he likes y’know kinda living life on the edge… of the ocean. And um, I think that’s where he would be right now, and, and I would be saving him.”  
> -Tyler Joseph

Josh loved the beach. He loved the atmosphere, the sun, and most of all, he loved jumping around in the waves and swimming in the ocean. When he was little, his parents would never let him in the water unless the lifeguard was there. But that was back in Ohio and in swimming pools. Josh was spending his summer in California with some distant family, and he was loving every day of it. And he certainly didn’t let a lack of lifeguard stop him from cooling off in the water. 

This had never been a problem, not for the first two weeks at least. But it was on a windy day, when Josh was one of the few people on the beach, that he swore it off for the rest of his days (swimming without a lifeguard that is). The sign posted by the beach warned against swimming because of how big the waves were, but as Josh stood at the edge of the water, the sun beating against his bare back, he decided it was worth the risk. After all, it looked like a blast and he totally had his boogie board with him. And there was no lifeguard around to stop him anyways, so why not?

He had to battle against the waves to get deep enough in the water that he wasn’t hitting the sandy bottom every time the waves pulled back. When he did though, he found it really was too rough to have fun, instead he was fighting a constant battle to keep his head above water. His board was, of course, attached to his ankle. He wished it wasn’t though when he slid off of it and a wave pulled it, and consequently him, even further out. 

Josh was panicking now, and reached down to undo the strap on his ankle; but while he was doing that a gigantic wave crashed down on him and pushed him a few feet under the water. He struggled to bring himself back to the surface and barely had time to take a breath before another wave pushed him back under. With every wave that rushed forward, the water would then pull back, tugging him farther and farther from shore. His eyes burned from the salt water, and his lungs burned from being unable to breath. The next time his head broke the surface he could see someone climbing up the lifeguard tower and he screamed for help. The next wave filled his mouth with water and he inhaled a little bit of it before choking and desperately swimming against the pull of the waves. 

Josh was strong, he did swim and work out regularly, but he could hardly breath, he was panicking, and the ocean was stronger than he was. He could feel the adrenaline running out and his muscles were growing tired. Every time a wave broke the water would rush up his nose, and he’d be pulled just as far back as he had gained swimming forward. 

\----

Tyler loved being a lifeguard, and that was mostly because he hated going to the beach and seeing the lifeguard tower unmanned. What if someone was drowning and they couldn’t be helped! His shift started at noon, but he was called in early because the shift before him had called in sick. Tyler felt anxious just thinking about the hours before he could arrive and about how there was no lifeguard at all.

He changed into his bright red lifeguard t-shirt and his swim shorts (also bright red), and hurried towards the tower so he could watch over the ocean for the day. As he jogged over, he saw how big the waves were and again shuddered at the thought of the past few- lifeguard free- hours. Someone could easily drown in those waves for sure. 

Tyler had never had amazing hearing, but he definitely heard a desperate call for help as he was on his way up the ladder to his tower. He jumped down from where he was, landing in the sand on hands and knees, and without a second thought sprinted towards the water, he began searching for where the scream had come from when he reached the water's edge. Sure enough, after a moment, he caught a glimpse of splashing and red from at least ten meters away. 

Tyler didn’t even think of the risky situation he was putting himself in, he only thought about the red splotch that needed help. As he got closer, he could see it was a boy with red hair. When Tyler was only a few feet from the boy that needed help, he saw him stop swimming forward as the body seemed to just go limp. 

Panic coursed through Tyler and he pushed forward in seconds and wrapped his arms around the boy. Like he had been trained to do, Tyler made sure the red-haired-boy’s head was out of the water, and he swam towards shore as hard as he could. It was a lot more difficult getting back, Tyler found out quickly, then it was getting there. And despite the red-haired-idiot (as he named him, after all who swims when there’s no lifeguard?!), being shorter than him, he was still a hassle to swim with, and he added a lot of extra weight. 

Tyler refused to let him die though, so he pushed forward till his feet hit the ground and he started running for shore, the red-haired-idiot in his arms bridal style. A lady sunbathing on the beach saw them and rushed over to ask if she could help. Tyler told her to call 911. While they waited for paramedics, Tyler started performing first aid, first checking his airways, breathing, and circulation. The boy gave a few breaths, and Tyler thought things would be okay, but then he stopped and Tyler started crying as he began CPR. 30 compression's, 2 breaths and repeat. He stopped when the paramedics arrived and took over. 

Tyler's manager sent a replacement lifeguard, because Tyler wouldn’t stop freaking out. His chest felt too tight, and all he could think about was the red-haired-idiots final breaths. This man would die because Tyler hadn’t been there to save him. 

A paramedic took him to the hospital as well, saying things about panic attacks and shock. But Tyler was just sobbing and pulling at his hair all the way to the hospital, not really listening to anything they had to say.

When he calmed down enough to breath normally, the nurse asked him some questions about what happened and he answered shakily. He was exhausted but asked to be released now that he had regained control. They let him go, and Tyler went directly to a receptionist and asked her about a boy with red hair who had been taken in after drowning. 

“And who are you?” She asked, a sympathetic smile graced her lips and Tyler figured it must have become a permanent feature to her face now. 

“I’m, um, the lifeguard who saved him. I just really want to make sure he’s okay.”

“I understand that, but if you are not family then we can’t help you.”

Expecting this, Tyler nodded and asked, “If he asks about me, can I give you my number? Um, so you can call me if he wants you to?”

The receptionist smiled, again with that pitying smile, and nodded. “I’ll pass it onto his doctor.”

Tyler went home and went straight to bed. He made a promise to himself before drifting off to sleep, to be a better lifeguard next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was okay? Please comment and let me know what you think! I definitely plan on continuing this, by the way, so stay tuned?  
> I apologize for any and all mistakes; and I'm not a lifeguard so I idk.  
> Also, the quotes are from an interview and I think I copied it down correctly, but a word or two might be slightly off.


	2. What I know, I must let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both boys are beating themselves up and Brendon is a bro.

When Josh woke up he couldn’t believe he was actually alive. He remembered water rushing up his nose, and the lack of breath just causing his muscles to stop working. His legs had seized up and he had thought ‘this is it’ and that’s all he remembered. But here he was, laying in a hospital bed.

“You, Mr Dun, are incredibly lucky.” The doctor interrupted Josh’s thoughts and he looked up at the man with surprise. 

When he tried to speak, he found it surprisingly painful and his throat ached as he did. “Wh-what happened?” He pulled a hand up to rub at his neck.

“What do you remember?” The doctor said, and Josh almost groaned at how unhelpful the man was being. 

“I went swimming in the ocean, and the waves got really rough and uhm, I remember trying to swim to shore…” He trailed off hoping the doctor would step in now.

He did. “Well, a lifeguard showed up early for his shift and claims he heard you call for help so he swam out and pulled you to shore, but you weren’t breathing, so he performed CPR and honestly, Mr Dun, he saved your life.”

Josh took in a deep breath then nodded and let that sink in. He had known the waters were risky, and so not only did he almost die, but he put that lifeguards life at risk. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid.

“Can-can, um do you know who the lifeguard was? I mean, I think I kind of owe him one hell of a thank you.” 

“He did leave his number, however I recommend you give him the night off. He looked absolutely exhausted when he left today, according to our receptionist, and I’ll be releasing you tomorrow anyways. Also, we are keeping you overnight just to make sure your lungs don’t have any problems adjusting to actually breathing again, if that’s alright with you.”

Josh gave a weak smile at the doctor's joke and nodded. He tried to sleep, but all he could think about was this mystery saviour and how he would definitely not be going anywhere near the ocean for a little while. The panic, and the certainty he was going to die, was still fresh in his mind. When he did fall asleep he woke up sweating from a nightmare, of him drowning. Only in this one, he pulled a lifeguard down with him and they both died. 

When he was released in the morning, they reminded him that his ribs were indeed bruised but, surprisingly, none were broken and he just had to be careful and avoid vigorous activities. Josh’s doctor also gave him the number from the lifeguard and gave him some ibuprofen to help with the soreness.  
When Josh got back to his aunt's house, they asked where he had been, and he just made an offhand excuse about crashing at a friends place. He knew if his parents caught wind of what happened they’d ship him back to Ohio in a heartbeat (even though he was an adult!). 

He changed himself into some fresh clothes, skinny jeans and a tanktop, and finally pulled up the courage to call the number. 

\------

When Tyler got home from the hospital, Brendon could immediately tell something was wrong. He didn’t ask about it though, until the next morning. Tyler explained everything that had happened over breakfast, including his breakdown and how his boss was giving him the week off of work and wanted to have a talk with him before Tyler resumed working. The break from work was paid, but that’s not what concerned Tyler. 

“What if more people need help, Bren, and I’m not there so they die?! I need to work, don’t they understand that?” Tyler ran his hands through his hair, pulling it a bit at the end. 

“Hey,” Brendon gently removed Tyler's hands from his hair, “this wasn’t your fault, you know that, right? That fucking idiot was the one who ignored the sign, saw giant ass waves, and went swimming anyways. You weren’t even supposed to be there till 12, Ty, you were two hours early! You saved this kids life.”

“But what about the next guy? What if I’m not there?” Tyler scrubbed at his face and shook his head, trying to clear it. Again Brendon pulled down his hands, this time he held onto them and made eye contact with Tyler. 

“There are other lifeguards, and even still, it’s never your fault, Ty. And maybe a little time off would help, you know, you take this too seriously.”

“We’re talking about people's lives.”

“And you risked yours yesterday to save that assholes. Speaking of which, I should really be berating you for your stupidity in doing that.” Brendon narrowed his eyes at Tyler. 

Tyler sighed and shook his head, “You really think I could have ignored him and let him die?”

Brendon let go of Tyler's hands to ruffle the younger boy's hair, “No, but if you had died trying to save him, I’d have revived him just to kill him again.”

“You’re too attached,” Tyler huffed then laughed and got up to do the dishes. About halfway through washing them, his phone rang.

“Ugh, Brendon, my hands are covered in soap, can you get that?”

Brendon looked up from his own phone, nodded, and retrieved Tyler’s phone from his back pocket and answered it. 

“Hello?” He said.

“Uh-um, h-hello, is this, um, oh I don’t even know your name, uh, sorry. Is this the, er, the lifeguard?”

“This is his best friend, why who is this?”

“Oh, um, could you please put me on with him?” The voice over the phone asked. 

Brendon scoffed then replied, “No. Who are- oh fuck you’re the asshole that almost got him killed, aren’t you?” From the lack of response Brendon assumed his theory was correct and he promptly hung up the phone. Tyler was glaring at him from the sink, drying his hands off then launching towards Brendon to get his phone back. 

“Hey!” Tyler said after he dialed back the number and he heard the line pick up. “I’m really sorry about my friend,” Tyler’s eyes widened when he saw Brendon start running towards him, so he ran to the bathroom and locked himself in. 

“You don’t need to talk to him, Tyler, it won't help!” Brendon called through the door.

“Oh, um, that’s alright. I’m the one who should be apologising.” The voice on the phone said. 

“You’re the red-haired-idiot, right?” Tyler said, then realised his nickname for the kid could be considered rude. “I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He tried to correct himself. 

“No, it’s true. Man, I am SO sorry about that, you really shouldn’t have put yourself at risk like that. And, and I’m really sorry that you felt obligated and had to do that. I was an idiot, I was being stupid.”

“No! You really don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner, like I’m so sorry.” Tyler’s speech was hurried and he could already feel his anxiety levels rising at the thought of this guy blaming him for not being a good enough lifeguard. 

“You gotta be kidding, man, you straight up saved my life. The doctor said i wasn’t breathing, I seriously owe you my life. You know what? Let me buy you coffee, then I can give you a sincere thank you.” 

Tyler did not want to meet the man he almost let die. But it would be rude to say no, so he agreed. They traded names, and made plans to grab coffee that afternoon. After Josh hung up Tyler left the bathroom and went back to the kitchen to find a slightly pissed off looking roommate. 

“Tyler, you shouldn’t be talking to him.”

“He just wanted to say thank you, Bren, calm down. It’s not like he’s about to jump in an ocean and drown again.”

Brendon sighed, “I know, but just look at it my way, okay? This stranger broke some pretty common sense rules and almost got you killed, then calls you up like he’s some buddy?” 

“I, um, I’m meeting him for coffee later.” Tyler decided to just get it out there, and he very deliberately ignored the disappointed look he got from Brendon. 

“Just, please, don’t forget you did this kid a favour, a big one at that. So don’t let him make you think you did anything wrong, because he just owes you big time. I just care, man, okay? And I know you beat yourself up, so don’t. You’re the hero here.”

Tyler nodded and they bro-hugged before Brendon announced he had work to do and Tyler was home alone with four hours to kill before coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing this, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it! This IS my first published fic so I hope you can forgive any mistakes.  
> Next chapter is half done and chock full of awkwardness as the two finally meet (:
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!


	3. Mindless, spineless, and pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet

Josh was in his room, and freaking out just a little bit. Why did he ask to meet this lifeguard guy anyways? Tyler seemed nice enough, sure, but Josh had made a colossal mistake when he went into that ocean, and Tyler had been the one to pull him out of it. Why hadn’t he just said thank you and left it that?

'Because he jumped in the ocean and pull your almost-dead ass out!'

So there was that, but still, Josh didn’t know what to say. It seemed almost like this Tyler-guy felt bad about what had happened, too, which just made the situation even more awkward, because he really shouldn't. Josh is an 18 year old, he should be capable of watching out for himself. He felt like an insolent child about talk with his parents again, because ‘goddamn it Josh, how many times do we have to tell you not to climb up trees?’ That had been the first time he broke a bone, and he had actually broken two. At ten years old, having casts on both arms was super cool. He didn’t even have to write his own tests! 

At 18, it was far more humiliating. 

Josh decided to change his tanktop to a white t-shirt, hoping he wasn’t adding to the idiot-punk-who-thought-he-was-too-cool-for-rules look that he already got from his gauges, nose piercing, red hair, and of course the whole almost drowning in the ocean incident. Checking himself in the mirror to make sure his I’m-really-really-sorry look was down he took off towards the coffee shop they meeting at. He’d been there a number of times before, so he had no trouble getting there, and hadn’t even had to use GPS once (a fact he was pretty proud of).

When he got into the coffee shop he looked around then caught sight of a hand waving towards him. He had forgotten Tyler knew what he looked like.

And Josh knew right away he was screwed, because damnit Tyler was really hot. He had brown hair, a couple of tattoos, and what Josh would forevermore consider a perfect face. Josh swallowed down these thoughts however, remembering he was here to grovel, not to pick up a date, and went to sit across from Tyler who looked nervous as hell too. His hands were twitching in his lap, and his eyes were darting everywhere but at Josh. 

Deciding to initiate conversation, Josh cleared and throat and held his hand towards Tyler. “Hi um. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Tyler finally met his eyes and smiled awkwardly (adorably) and shook Josh’s hand. “Nice to meet you breathing.” He laughed a little bit at his own joke and looked down again when he saw Josh’s embarrassed blush.

“Nice to be breathing.” Josh added, instantly berating himself afterwards for the stupid joke. This was a serious matter! “Um, thanks for that. The me breathing thing.” Smooth Josh. “Ugh, I’m sorry, I really am thankful though. Like you didn’t have to do that, but you did, and you saved my life, so thank you Tyler.”  
They had eye contact again, and Tyler nervously ran his fingers through his hair, pulling a bit at the end. “Yeah, it’s, it’s no problem. Really. I just wish I had been there sooner to like stop you or get to you sooner. I’m surprised you’re doing so great, actually. You really scared me,” He let out a nervous giggle to break the tension and to try to relax himself. 

“Are you serious?” Josh paused then continued quickly, after seeing Tyler flinch, “I mean I was the dumbass who jumped in the ocean even though there was a sign up saying I shouldn’t!”

“You should never swim without a lifeguard,” Tyler whispered then pulled at his hair again, before realising he was doing it and sitting on his hands as casually as one can. 

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to now.”Josh paused then added on offer to buy Tyler coffee, which he tried to decline, but Josh insisted and soon enough they were standing in line waiting for their turn to order. Neither said anything until it came time to order, and they both got blended ice coffees. They sat down again and found that, drinks in hand, conversation flowed a lot smoother. Josh talked about the family he was staying with for the summer; and Tyler explained that he was going to university there, and that this was his second season as a lifeguard. 

“So you aren’t from here, then?” Josh asked.

“Nope. I’m actually from rainy Columbus, Ohio.”

“No way!” Josh grinned ear to ear, his perfect teeth shining, and his eyes scrunching up, “I am too!” 

Tyler smiled back, a little self conscious about his own crooked teeth now, he made his mouth remained shut. “That’s actually… Really weird. There’s probably two people from Columbus here, that’s us, and we happen to meet?”

“Totally trippy.” Josh agreed and then they had common grounds for discussion, and they talked about their lives in Columbus until they were interrupted by Tyler’s phone ringing. He excused himself walked outside to answer the phone.

“Brendon? Everything okay?”

“It’s six pm, Ty, I wanted to make sure you weren’t throwing yourself into another ocean or something.”

“Oh,” Tyler shuffled his feet, “sorry I didn’t tell you I’d be gone so long. I didn’t think I would be, actually.”

“Are you still with the ocean guy?” Tyler could practically hear Brendons glare through the phone.

“Yeah, he’s a really great guy though! Like he’s really sorry about swimming when he wasn’t supposed to for dragging me into it. Even though I told him I should have-”

“Stop right there, Tyler, you should have left him to drown, is what you should have done.”

“Brendon!” Tyler was appalled, and even a little bit angry, “Don’t say that, it’s awful.”

“Hey, you know I don’t mean it, man. I just don’t like anyone who almost gets my Ty-guy killed.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Tyler hated how hard it was to be mad at Brendon. They had been roommates since Tyler first moved to california, and in the year they’d been together, they grew very close. If Tyler had to define their relationship he really wouldn’t know what to say. They were best friends, and Brendon was almost like a big brother to Tyler. But they had ‘helped eachother out’ a couple of times, but they definitely were not lovers or in a romantic (or even exclusively sexual) relationship. Tyler just knew it worked, and was cool with that. “I’ll be home soon, just gonna wrap it up.”

“Sounds good, see you tonight.” Click, the phone was off and Tyler let out a heavy breath to sike himself up to explain to Josh he had to go. It went better than Tyler expected, honestly, and Josh didn’t overcomplicate things. He apologised again, and stopped Tyler when he tried to do the same, and they agreed to meet up again soon. Through text, Josh promised, because over coffee Tyler had mentioned disliking talking on the phone.

The entire walk home, Tyler was deep in thought about Josh. He didn’t blame him for swimming, like Brendon did. He did think Josh was stupid to go swimming when he wasn’t supposed to. There are certain times you should swim, and that’s when there is a lifeguard, after all, but he didn’t blame Josh; he wasn’t angry with Josh. And he was incredibly relieved Josh wasn’t angry with him. He knew Brendon was right when he said that this wasn’t Tyler’s fault, he wasn’t stupid, he knew this. But despite knowing it wasn’t his fault, that didn’t stop him from feeling like it was his fault. Thankfully, while Brendon couldn’t relate, he would listen and try to understand how Tyler was feeling, no matter how messed Tyler thought he was, Brendon would always listen and comfort him. 

Which is why when Tyler got home, Brendon was okay with not talking. He could tell when Tyler was worn out and not up to actually talking. He would usually refuse to leave Tyler alone during these times, and Tyler would never say it, but he was eternally grateful to Brendon for that. They decided on pizza for dinner and a pirates of the caribbean movie marathon while wrapped up in blankets. If Tyler fell asleep for most of the second movie, Brendon didn’t mention it. 

Tyler woke up on the couch still, but he was alone now. He knew Brendon had work and appreciated that he hadn’t woken him up when he was leaving. Despite having a sore back from sleeping funny, and his phone being dead, Tyler felt pretty good. He plugged his phone into the wall outlet at the kitchen counter then went and took a shower when he came back out he saw a text from Josh but it just read:

FROM: 587-987-6543:  
It’s Josh ;)

Tyler added him to his contacts as Josh, realising only then that he didn’t know Josh’s last name. He thought about asking, since all of his contacts (except Brendons), were formally filled with the person first and last name. But he didn’t, because he was worried it might seem weird. Tyler did enjoy days off, but he enjoyed working more. Especially because Tyler now had nothing to distract him from the insistent urge to text Josh. He didn’t want to seem clingy or weird though, so he just flipped on the television and let his brain rot from an awful reality tv show about brides being picky on wedding dress options. 

He didn’t get off the couch until it was around noon, and then he decided he might as well go outside. He grabbed his phone from where it was charging and his wallet in case he wanted to buy lunch and went for a walk. He sat down at a taco bell for lunch and while he was eating he scrolled through his instagram and groaned when he saw that Brendon had posted a picture of them, and sure enough he was sleeping, mouth open, against his friend. He shot off a strongly worded text to Brendon about privacy and asking before posting pictures but he knew he’d ignore it.

During his walk home he saw he had another text.

FROM: Josh  
Nice pic ur friend posted xD 

Before Tyler could type out a text back, he got another one.

FROM: Josh  
I just realised how crpy that prob seemed. I just clicked his feed, wasnt stalking or anything, promise :DDD

TO: Josh  
It’s okay, I do that all the time. Follow me @tyguyjoseph 

Only a few moments after that Tyler got a notification telling him that a spookyjim was following his account. He spent a few minutes stalking Josh’s account before following him back. There were a couple of selfies, a lot of older pictures of him and a cat and then a few recent pictures of the beach and ocean. 

FROM: Josh  
Thanks 4 the follow

TO: Josh  
You too (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I need some feedback here. I already have Brendon in this because I really really love Brendon with Tyler and Josh and stuff. But how would you guys feel if I added say Pete or Patrick as well? Like a 'bandom' kind of thing. It would definitely make the fic longer if that helps? 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	4. To you, all I feel is deny, deny, denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID mean to update this yesterday, I promise...

FROM: Tyjo  
Hi. We should do something this weekend cause they still won't let me work ):

TO: Tyjo  
Yassss!! What do u wan to do?

FROM: Tyjo  
Um want to get ice cream at the beach?

TO: Tyjo  
Only if i dont hav 2 go in the water ;)

Josh added a winky face to the end of his text to play it cool, but really he had no desire to go swimming again, and even thinking about doing so made him uncomfortable and a little bit panicky. He could do ice cream on the beach though, after all, he would be with one hell of a lifeguard. One hell of lifeguard who’s laugh made him laugh, whose shy gestures were endearing, and whose sense of humour was adorable. But that’s not what Josh was thinking of at all, nope, definitely not. Tyler just happened to be the best looking… bro… that Josh had met in a very long time. And that definitely didn’t influence how Josh decided to dress himself that morning, nope not at all.

Josh just wanted to look his best for himself, of course.

FROM: Tyjo  
I can settle for that (: Is 1 alright for you?

TO: Tyjo  
Anytime is great, see u at 1 at the beach we met at?? :P

FROM: Tyjo  
Sounds great, see you then.

Josh started to freak out when he realised he only had a couple of hours left to get ready. Deep breaths, rationalise. He repeated that a few times, as he had been instructed to when he was a kid, and then thought through the situation and decided a few hours would be fine. It would only really take him 45 minutes top to get ready. First he showered, then picked out his clothes. This was the part that could take forever if he let it, so he after the third outfit he tried on, he decided to just go with it. Green and black nike shorts with a grey t-shirt. He fiddled with his hair for a while before mostly giving up on that as well and putting on a snapback, (backwards obviously he was cool after all). 

Finally content with his appearance, Josh went downstairs where he was confronted by his aunt. His aunt was great, of course, and Josh couldn’t thank her enough for letting him stay at her place for free all summer. 

“Where are you off to looking so handsome, Joshua?” She asked and he let out an awkward chuckle.

“Um I met this guy, um friend, and we’re gonna chill at the beach for awhile.” Josh very purposefully ignored the suggestive glint in his aunt's eye and thankfully all she said was,

“Have fun.”

\--------

If the first thing Tyler noticed about Josh when he saw him was that his shorts were considerably more short than most shorts, he wouldn’t say it out loud. Instead he would silently admire the thighs of his… buddy… over there. 

“Hey man,” Josh beamed when he saw Tyler and the other boy smiled right back.

“Hi, Josh, um, so there’s an ice cream shack that I go to when I’m off work a lot.”

“Sounds great, let's go there!” 

Josh had smiled again, the big one with perfect white teeth shining, and his eyes all scrunched up, and Tyler decided that Josh smiling was one of his new favourite things ever. 

It only took a couple of minutes to walk towards what really was a shack, with a menu on the front that listed almost thirty different flavours of ice-cream. The guy who was working there was short, well actually he was a bit taller than Josh but that just meant they were both short, but he still looked intimidating what with his spiky black hair, eyeliner, and tattoos on both arms. 

“Josh,” Tyler interrupted Josh’s thoughts, “This is Pete. Pete, Josh.” He gestured to each person in accordance to what he was saying. Josh reached out his hand and shook the other man's hand. 

“Nice to meet you,” Josh said.

“So, Tyler, your usual?” Pete asked and Tyler nodded, “And, Josh, what for you?” Pete continued.

“Oh, um, I’ll have what Tyler’s getting.” Josh answered uncertainly. Pete opened his mouth to speak, but Tyler shook his head at him with a mischievous grin that made Josh begin to regret what he ordered. He stuck with his decision though, he didn’t want to seem chicken.  
Pete then grabbed an ice-cream scoop and piled a mysterious bright pink ice-cream into a blender. He then poured the blended ice-cream into two cups and passed them to the boys Josh examined his critically, “”Exactly what flavour is this?”

“Try it!” Tyler said before taking a sip of his own through a clear straw that turned pink at it was filled with the sketchy ice-cream..

“Oh my gosh Tyler, you’re a child,” Josh started laughing after tasting the milkshake, “I seriously haven’t had this since I was like seven!”

Tyler huffed and rolled his eyes, “Cottoncandy’s my favourite.” He pouted but didn’t stop drinking it.

“It’s all he ever gets,” Pete confirms before shooting a fond glance at Tyler. 

“Still a child,” Josh insisted, but his tone was light and playful, and he had a good natured grin on his face.

“Are you saying you don’t like it? Here, Pete, I guess you can just drink it,” Tyler teased.

“No! It’s mine now!” Josh snatched the paper cup back and held it protectively against his chest. “It is pretty good i guess.” He admitted and Pete laughed.

“Josh does have a point though, Ty, you know you’re the only customer I have over the age of ten that orders cottoncandy…” Pete said.

“Well I guess that just means I’m special,” Tyler said then blushed and fiddled with his straw. 

“That you are, for sure.” Pete agreed. 

When they finished their ice-cream and said their goodbyes, they decided on a walk along the edge of the water. 

“Josh,”

“Yeah?”

“What were you thinking when you decided to go swimming?”

Josh cringed and looked down at where their bare feet sunk into the wet sand, the water was lightly lapping at their feet. “I don’t really know, honestly, I just felt a pull to get out there and have some fun. I love the adrenaline rush when a wave swells up and throws you towards shore. I didn’t really consider that anything bad could happen, I guess.”

Tyler nodded and paused, waiting almost an entire minute again before speaking, “You really shouldn’t swim when there isn’t a lifeguard, you know.”

Josh nodded shamefully. 

“Will you promise you won't?” 

Josh could feel Tyler’s eyes on his face, but he didn’t want to look up. “Yeah,” his voice cracked when he did speak, “I don’t know if I want to get in the water ever again after that, nevermind when it’s wavy or there’s no lifeguard.” He admitted and finally looked over at Tyler who was watching him with a frown. Neiter of them said anything else until Tyler finally interjected the silence by stating the time. 

“We should turn around and head back. Brendon is expecting me for dinner.”

“So,” Josh started to ask after they started walking back, “Brendon? He’s your boyfriend?”

Tyler just started laughing and wiped at his eyes, “The day I date Brendon is the day I, I, I don’t even know but no, not my boyfriend. I mean don’t get me wrong, Brendon is great, and, um, he’d be a catch for anyone but not my type.” When Josh didn’t say anything Tyler continued, “He’s my roommate. And also probably my best friend. He’s great, and I love him, but not in like a romantic way I guess.”

“You’re brofriends?” Josh asked with a small grin. He was NOT grinning because of this news of course, he didn’t even know if Tyler was gay or single, but knowing Brendon was out of the picture did maybe make Josh feel a little happy.

Tyler giggled, yes giggled because that’s the only word to explain the little bubbling laugh that came out of his mouth, and nodded. “Brofriends, I like it.”

“He sounds like a good guy.” 

Tyler smiled again and nodded shyly, “He is. You should meet him sometime.”

Josh nodded in agreeance and once again they were walking in silence. It was a comfortable silence though, not an awkward one. It was like neither of them had to say anything, so they didn’t. When the tide started coming in, Tyler didn’t argue at all when Josh suggested they move up the beach to stay out of the water. They parted ways that night with the promise to do it again sometime. 

When he got home, Josh showered then laid down face first on his bed and groaned. He was so fucked, and he knew it. 

\-----

When Tyler got home, Brendon had a hundred questions for him while they ate their spaghetti. Tyler dodged almost all them, except for the basic ones. 

When Brendon asked him, “So, you guys gonna fuck?” Tyler just sputtered and excused himself from the dinner table to go to his room and hide from his nosy-ass roommate. He realised as soon as he was in his room that he had pretty much answered Brendons question for him by leaving. He did think about it that night though. Were they going to? 

No, he decided, Josh was just here for the summer after all, and Tyler didn’t want a summer fling. He did leave his room that night and when Brendon smirked at him he just shook his head and said, “No, we aren’t going to.” And sat down next to Brendon to snuggle and watch ‘The Office’ together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am adding a couple more characters, but I promise it'll be Joshler centric with a healthy dose of Brendon because I'm trash for Brendon being a Joshler cockblock. 
> 
> Pete is 100% the ice-cream guy. 
> 
> And Tyler can wake up and smell the dunshine anytime he wants to :p 
> 
> Also, my computer keeps telling me I'm spelling stuff wrong, but I'm not, and I'll never take the U's out of favourite, humour, flavour etc. You can't make me


	5. Is close the closest star?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is not so great, then great. rinse and repeat

Tyler woke up the morning after his not-a-date with Josh and felt waves of anxiety roll over him before he could even get out of bed. He rolled over and curled into himself, his hands grabbing a hold of his hair and pulling not so gently. He was supposed to go meet with his bosses today so they could decide if he was stable enough to handle another emergency. It was just standard procedure, after a rescue the lifeguard had to talk to the bosses and a psychiatrist and this was just to ensure that all of their lifeguards were emotionally capable of the job and wouldn’t have some kind of break down if something bad happened again.

Tyler was never emotionally stable, never mind right now. So he decided he’d just stay curled up in bed and never get up ever again. His solid plan was interrupted when an hour later his bedroom went flying open and he immediately flinched and buried himself further in his bed. 

“I swear to god, if you’re jacking off I’m moving out,” Brendon said immediately after throwing open the door. 

Tyler just groaned and shook his head. Brendon sighed and sat on the bed next to him before gently laying his hand on top of one of the ones that Tyler had buried in his hair. “Okay?” He asked.

Tyler knew he wasn’t asking if Tyler was okay, was he ever? Rather Brendon was asking if the contact was okay because sometimes touch would just overwhelm him. He nodded briskly and let Brendon pull his hands out of his hair and help him sit up. 

“I’mgonnalosemyjobtoday,” Tyler mumbled quickly, his eyes closed firmly. 

“No you aren’t,” Brendon insisted and wrapped a comforting arm around his friend. “Come on, you gotta get up, put on some fresh clothes, and I’ll make you some tea, yeah?”

Tyler nodded and when Brendon asked, told him he could handle himself. He did get dressed, and even forced himself to pass over the sweatpants in favour of clean jeans and his mickey mouse t-shirt. When he came out into their living room, Brendon already had two cups of peppermint tea sitting on the coffee table and some music playing from a speaker somewhere. He couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the effort Brendon went through to make him feel more safe and comfortable.

“I don’t deserve you, Bren,” Tyler mumbled before sitting down next to his roommate and grbbaing his mug off the table to take a sip of it. He did scald his tongue, and he did proceed to take a second drink immediately afterwards anyways.

“Not true, man, you deserve the world,” Brendon insisted and before Tyler could argue this he continued to talk. “So what was that you were saying about your job?”

Tyler sighed and had to force the words out of his throat, he didn’t want to talk about it, but he knew Brendon had a right to know if Tyler wanted help from him, “It’s uh, you know how they do the whole psych eval. After a big-deal kind of rescue?”

“No, I thought they only did that when you first started,” Brendon admitted and flinched at remembering how horribly wrong things had gone for Tyler when he failed it the first time. 

“Yeah, if an EMS has to be called, they, um, make you do another one to make sure you’re ‘up for the job’ and, and,” Tyler stopped to slow down his breathing, he was getting too worked up over this and he knew it, “and, uh, and, I don’t know if I can pass it. I mean I didn’t last time and,”

Brendon cut him off and said, “You did pass last time, Ty, you did eventually, okay? And you can pass this time too. You just need to be honest and collected.”

“But what if I don’t!”

“I don’t think they’ll fire you, I don’t think they legally can fire you, honestly, and if they do I’ll personally go to their homes and fuck shit up. Besides, last time you just had the therapy and stuff then you could try again, and if that happens again, you can just take a break until you are ready.”

Tyler didn’t say anything this time but he did nod. 

“When is this meeting?”

“Seven pm,” Tyler answered quietly. 

“So you have like nine hours till then. I have to go to work, and I mean like I’ll-get-fired-if-i-don’t have to, but you should see if Pete and Pat want to chill, or even, and god forbid I suggest this, see if Josh can do something.” Brendon made a dramatic shiver at Josh’s name. 

“You haven’t even met Josh, you can’t hate him yet.” Was all Tyler had to say back.

Brendon snorted, “Given the circumstances, I think that yes I can.” 

Tyler smiled a little bit and shook his head, “Nope. But I’ll take your advice, it’ll probably help i guess,” he still sounded uncertain so Brendon gave him an encouraging hug then left for work leaving Tyler alone. It took him an hour and half to actually do what he said he would and text Josh. 

TO: Josh  
Hey, would you like to do something today?

The text back was almost immediate, it came in the same minute according to Tylers phone.

FROM: Josh  
YES. What u wantto do??

TO: Josh  
I don’t know, anything?

FROM: Josh  
I have an idea. I’ll send u my adres 

Tyler wasn’t necessarily a fan of the idea of going to Josh’s house, but decided he was being ridiculous and texted Josh saying he’d be there in an hour. It would take him thirty minutes, he found after mapping it out on his phone, to walk to Josh’s house which gave him thirty minutes to get ready. He spent his time trying to fix his hair which was sticking up in all directions from that morning and picking a pair of shoes. His floral vans, his favourite, clashed with his shirt, but his black vans with his black pants looked to dark. He ended up going with the black vans anyways. Satisfied with his decision, he turned on the gps on his phone and started on his way to Josh’s house.

The walk took less time than he expected, and Tyler planned to just lurk around the street until it was exactly when he said he’d be there THEN ring the doorbell. This plan went to shit though when Josh himself burst out of the front door ten minutes early. He saw Tyler and grinned, (the really nice smile with all his teeth, the one Tyler really liked), and called out a greeting. 

Tyler offered a small wave and a quiet hello from himself. 

“How are you doing?” Josh asked when he caught up with Tyler, about halfway down the driveway.

“Um, okay, how about you?” Tyler shrugged.

Josh frowned a little bit, “I’m good! Only okay?”

 

“Oh, yeah, um, don’t worry about it, I just have a work meeting tonight that I’m not looking forward to.”

“Oh that sucks, I hate work meetings. Well, I mean, I’m not employed right now, but I had a job in Ohio. Maybe I should get one here too, though, I mean I guess it’d be the responsible thing to do,” Josh finished his little ramble and made eye contact with Tyler who had been watching Josh talk fondly. 

“Um, anyways, i had this idea on what we could do.” Josh said quickly, breaking their silent eye contact. Tyler nodded, encouraging Josh to continue, “Well, my uncle has a longboard and I brought my longboard from home, so we should like go longboarding.” He finished talking and was watching Tyler hopefully.

“I’ve, um, never been longboarding before.” Tyler admitted.

“Skateboarding?”

“Uh, no,”

“Penny boarding?”

“Nope.” Tyler frowned a little bit, wondering what a penny board even was. 

“Ripsticking?”

“Ripsticking?” Tyler repeated, that sounded more like a sex position to him than anything else, but didn’t want to say so.

“Yeah, um, okay, I’ll teach you!” Josh decided and without waiting for affirmation from Tyler he ran up the driveway and punched in the code for the garage. After it opened Josh ran inside and grabbed two longboards from the shelf on the wall. 

“This one’s mine,” Josh said holding up one that was covered in green aliens, “If you’re cool with this one,” the second was dark blue with a few waves painted on the bottom. 

Tyler nodded, “Sure.” He looked at the boards warily, though, they looked dangerous in his opinion, which was why he never bothered to learn to ride one. 

Josh showed Tyler the basics, and he made it look so easy Tyler thought that maybe, just maybe, he could do this. He put a foot on the board, but when he went to give his first push he hadn’t anticipated the movement to be so abrupt and he hadn’t remembered to lean forward a little bit so the board flew forward and Tyler started falling backwards. He expected land on the concrete, he figured his head would probably split open, and his brains would probably have to washed off the driveway with a garden house.

Instead he heard Josh yell, “Oh shit!” and felt himself fall right into Josh’s arms. His feet hit the ground but from an angle and they did nothing to hold him up, but Josh's arms were under his and he had caught his upper half, stopping his head from coming anywhere near the ground. If anyone were to have seen them it would have looked like they had succeeded in a trust fall. It took him a moment to collect himself but Tyler eventually, with Josh’s help, stood himself back up. He turned around and caught Josh’s eyes.

They stared into eachothers eyes for almost an entire minute before Tyler slowly cracked a small smile and started giggling. This led to Josh chuckling and soon both of the were laughing their asses off. “I-I can’t believe that just happened,” Tyler gasped out between laughs. Everytime one of them tried to be serious again the others laughing would make them laugh, and it took them quite awhile before they both sobered up. 

“I can’t believe I actually caught you!” Josh said, “I saw the board shoot out and seriously didn’t think i’d be fast enough.”

Tyler nodded in agreement, “That was pretty scary, I gotta say. I guess we’re even now.”

Josh scoffed, “I caught you after you slipped backwards, you jumped in an ocean and pulled my pretty much dead ass out.”

Tyler shrugged, “Let's call it a start.” 

“Deal,” Josh held out his hand to shake, and Tyler found he didn’t particularly want to let go. And if the shake lasted a little longer than one usually would, neither said anything about it. 

Tyler straight up refused to try out the longboard again, even at Josh’s insistence that it would be easier the second time around. 

“Nope, I refuse. I’ll stick to keeping my feet on the ground.” Tyler said and Josh finally sighed and nodded his acceptance. 

“Okay, well what do you want to do instead?” Josh asked.

“Hmmm,” Tyler’s expression turned from contemplating to thrilled as he asked, “Do you have mario kart?”

\-----

“Okay, you have to be cheating!” Josh huffed, setting down his remote after losing for the fourth time. “Every tournament we’ve done you’ve kicked ass!”

“It’s a talent, Josh, a talent.” Tyler insisted. 

“Rematch.” Josh demanded, staring Tyler down. 

Both boys were disappointed when they found that hours had passed and Tyler had to go to his meeting. Josh insisted on walking him to it. The twenty minutes it took were spent almost entirely in silence and neither of the two would have liked it any other way. Just before they got there Tyler got a text.

FROM: Beebo  
Ima pick ur skinny ass up after no ifs or butts 

TO: Beebo  
Ok

Tyler put his phone away then explained who had texted and why at Josh’s curious look. After the silence having been broken they chatted about little things until they reached the community building at the beach, which is where Tyler’s lifeguard association had its offices. Josh could see how much Tyler was freaking out and pulled him into a bone crushing hug before sending him in.

“Hey you got this, and even if you don’t, remember that’s okay too.” Josh whispered in his ear, despite still not really knowing what the meeting was about. While they were hugging Tyler could feel his heart rate slow just a little bit as he started to calm down. Going into the building, though, the warm feeling dissipated again. He felt like he might throw up and had to put a lot of effort into his breathing, just trying to stave off the anxiety attack he could feel welling up underneath his skin. He felt like fire was running through his veins instead of blood, and like he was breathing into a pillow, unable to catch his breath. 

Perhaps his first mistake was going into his psych evaluation with glassy eyes, red skin, and an insistent twitch he couldn’t stop in his fingers. Whether that was the problem, or his shaky answers were, Tyler was close to tears when he walked out of the building to find Brendon who had been on his phone. He raised his eyebrow in a silent question and Tyler just shook his head no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeep, longest chapter yet but I think it's pre good? Shout out to Lea for the skateboarding/longboarding idea, I think it really fit well in here!
> 
> Also, I meant to put this up yesterday but didn't edit because I was seriously crying watching clips of Emotional Roadshow Tour. Despite Canada being the second biggest country in the entire world they're only coming to one city, Toronto, which spoiler alert is nowhere near me ): So i wont be seeing them live for this tour and that kinda kills me inside


	6. I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honest to god fluff for days not even kidding

FROM: Josh [10:12pm]  
Heyyy man how’d that work meeting go?  
-received, not seen-

FROM: Josh [11:47pm]   
If u dont want to talk about work we dont hav to   
-received, not seen-

FROM: Josh [12:10am]  
Sry i prob sound clingy lol jus bored haha   
-received, not seen-

FROM: Josh [12:17am]  
I gues ur prob sleeping haha sry lol  
-received, not seen-

\----

Tyler was definitely not checking his phone, and he also wasn’t talking to Brendon. After they got home Tyler went straight to his room and locked the door behind him, something he generally didn’t do. The next morning he got up only to unlock the door then he crawled back to bed. If he couldn’t go work, he didn’t know why he would bother getting up anyways. 

-  
“Well, Mr Joseph, we’re going to have to put you on a paid suspension. You’ll be getting 100% of your regular wage provided you attend a weekly therapy session which we will of course reimburse you for.”   
“We’ll have to keep you off work for at least a month then we can run another test and see if you’re doing any better.”   
“I’m aware there’s only a bit over a month of the summer season left, but you have to understand why we do things this way.”  
“Okay, well I am willing to hold another evaluation whenever you feel ready.”  
“Thank you, Mr Joseph, have a goodnight.”  
-

FROM: Josh [9:22am]  
i kno we did yesterday but want to hang out again today?  
-received, not seen-

FROM: Josh [12:45pm]  
Or maybe tmr?  
-received, not seen-

-  
TO: Josh [2:37PM]   
Sorry was just tired. I’m busy actually sorry

FROM: Josh [2:38pm]  
Oh ok dont worry about it  
-

It wasn’t until Tyler had skipped dinner that Brendon supposed it was time to intervene on his roommates sulking. He tried just talking to him, and he tried luring him out with promises of movies and red bull, but Tyler just snapped at him to leave him alone or completely ignored him. So Brendon took things to the next level and decided to do this by forcing Tyler to be around friends. He texted Pete and told him to drop by with Patrick around 7 and then decided that inviting Josh, as much as he didn't want to, would probably help with actually getting Tyler out of his room. 

Determined to get Josh’s number, Brendon knocked gently on Tyler’s door, not hearing any kind of response, he nudged open the door and peeked inside. Tyler was sleeping but even in his sleep he looked upset and had bags under his eyes. Beside Tyler on the bed, though, was Tyler’s phone. Brendon tiptoed (literally) into the room, grabbed Tyler’s phone and bolted out.

TO: Josh   
Heyyy assface idk why but ttyler seems to likke u or somethin so u have to cme over tonight n cheer him up, kay??? Its like a party but with 5 peopl 

FROM: Josh  
Is this Brendan? 

TO: Josh  
BRENDON YOU MOTHERFUVKR GET I T RIGHT JeeZUs.

FROM: Josh  
Sry

TO: Josh  
BE herre no latr than 7 no sooner then now

\---

Josh started freaking out when he realised ‘no later than 7’ was in just over ten minutes. He rushed out the door, ignoring his aunts protests, and grabbed his longboard to speed up his journey towards Tylers house. It wasn’t until he was half way down his street that he realised he had no idea where Tyler lived. 

TO: Tyjo  
Yowhere u live?

FROM: Tyjo  
Figure it out bitch

FROM: Tyjo  
420 blaze it street 

FROM: Tyjo  
69 suck my dick ave

FROM: Tyjo  
666 satans asshole blvd

TO: Tyjo  
BrendOn still?

FROM:Tyjo  
You know it babby

Following that text was another containing a far more realistic address, and after mapping it out, Josh was relieved to find it wasn’t too far at all. Further than the beach, but not too far. Josh was definitely late when he arrived at the small house and he didn’t want to waste anymore time but as he walked up the steps of Tylers house [TYLER’S HOUSE!] He had to stop to take a couple of minutes of calming breaths. He was not looking forward to meeting this Brendon guy.

He finally built up the nerve to knock and seconds later the door was pulled open by a man who seemed to tower over him, his hair was neatly styled and holy shit, his forehead was the size of Joshs cat, he decided. But that didn’t take away from the fact that he was a good looking dude. 

“Oh fuck, I was hoping you wouldn’t show up.” Brendon said turned around and just left. Since he left the door open, Josh invited himself inside and looked around curiously. Right off the entrance was a living room and, with an open space concept, a kitchen.

Seated in the living room were Pete and another guy who Josh definitely didn’t know. There was no sign of Tyler.

“Um, hi Pete.” Josh said, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had settled in the room. 

“Hiya Josh. This here is Patrick,” he gestured to the guy sitting next to him and Josh shook his hand.

“Hi Patrick, I’m Josh, well I guess Pete said that already but whatever.” He shrugged.

Patrick opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud yell from across the house.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BRENDON?!” And that was followed by a loud bang. Josh almost laughed when Brendon came sulking into the living room. 

“Little dick threw a shoe at me,” He muttered with dramatic misery lacing his tone as he sat down (as far from Josh as the couch would allow, he noted duly).

“I’ll talk to him, you know how he listens to me,” Patrick said, standing up from the couch and leaving the room without another room. Josh felt what he refused to acknowledge as a pang of jealousy at this. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Brendon.

“So you’re the little dumbass who tried to drown Ty, eh?” Brendon said, his eyes narrowed in a furious glare at Josh. Josh just held his hands up in a surrendering motion and answered.

“Of course not! It was… a sticky situation, but I definitely didn’t try to drown him, I promise!” He spoke quickly.

Pete laughed a bit and patted Josh on the back, “Relax man, he’s just poking at you, I’m sure.”

“I’m not,” Brendon huffed, crossing his arms, “I hate him.”

 

When Patrick returned to the living room he had a miserable looking Tyler dragging along behind him. Josh felt and instant desire to pull him into one hell of a hug and just never let go until he was happy again. He also noticeed that Tyler’s hair looked wet and that was explained to him when Tyler spoke.

 

“You,” Tyler spoke while pointing an accusatory finger at Brendon, “Are drying my sheets.” When Brendon opened his mouth to argue, Tyler cut in again, “No, you are. You threw the cup of water all over so you’re cleaning it up.” With a huff he sunk down into a sulk on the couch, sitting between Pete and Josh.

Josh hesitated before wrapping a comforting arm around Tyler, praying he wasn’t overstepping any bounds in doing so. He was relieved to find that Tyler melted into the embrace and closed his eyes. Brendon brought over beers, and while Patrick and Tyler both declined a drink, Brendon, Pete, and Josh had no problem with it. It didn’t take long for the atmosphere to turn from tense to one of friendly conversation. Josh had been there nearly an hour before Brendon and Pete stopped their argument about Caveman spongebob vs. Dat Boi so Brendon could chuck his beer can at Tyler while calling out, “Yo Ty, you awake man?”

“Yessss.” Tyler groaned, cracking open his eyes to glare at Brendon. 

“Hey, you’ve had yours eyes shut since, well since you left your room man, so don’t blame me.”

“I’m listening to your conversations.” Tyler mumbled.

Pete jumped up from his seat in excitement and, eyes locked with Tyler’s, asked, “So caveman spongebob is best, right?”

Tyler rolled his eyes, letting them close at the end but he did whisper, “Oh shit waddup.”

Brendon practically exploded with excitement at having won by Tyler’s vote and was cheering and calling out taunts against both caveman spongebob and more importantly, Pete. Tyler groaned at the noise, especially as Pete had joined in the shouting match, and he buried his face into Josh’s shoulder, trying to hide from the noise.

Josh couldn’t help but stop breathing for a moment as he felt a wave of adoration for the boy in his arms, and whispered in his ear, “Want to get out of here?”

Tyler froze for a second before his shoulders started shaking and he pulled away, putting a hand over his mouth to try to stop his laughs but it wasn’t working and he was laughing uncontrollably. Josh was confused at first, before realising just how suggestive what he said must have sounded and then he was laughing too. The other guys in the room, of course, demanded an explanation. 

“H-he, oh Josh, um said he wanted to bang me but he just meant get away from the noise,” Tyler managed to spit the words out in between laughs, but the way he put it caused Josh to groan and facepalm as he was on the receiving end of two confused looks, and one pretty hostile one. 

“You said what?!” Brendon demanded, his eyes trained on Josh.

“No, that’s not what, okay, no. I just said ‘want to get out of here?’ cause you guys are really loud.” Josh tried to amend quickly and thankfully Brendon smirked and even laughed a little. 

“You’re an idiot,” Brendon said, shaking his head, “why the fuck would you word it that way?” 

Josh shrugged helplessly and ran his fingers through his hair, “I don’t know!”

The laughter did eventually die down, and at a point Pete asked Patrick, quite pointedly, if he’d like to get out of there, and Patrick just blushed and nodded, leading to the two of them leaving, saying their goodbyes, and promising to come over again soon. 

“I uh, guess I should get myself home, too,” Josh said, looking at his watch but Tyler shook his head.

“No, Josh, stay and watch a movie with Bren and I!” Tyler insisted, completely oblivious to the subtle glare being thrown at him from his roommate. “I slept all day, so I’m not at all tired now.” Tyler added. 

Josh tried to hold back the desire to smile at being wanted around by none other than Tyler, he failed, and nodded, “Why not?”

“I’m sitting in between you two.” 

Brendon ended up sitting to left of Tyler while Josh sat on his right. They were watching the newest hunger games movie (Josh was not enjoying it, but Brendon seemed really into it), and only twenty minutes in, Tyler snuggled against Josh who pulled him in with his arm without even hesitating. When the movie ended, Josh looked over to find Tyler’s head thrown back, his mouth open, and his eyes shut tight. 

“Um, Brendon?” Josh whispered. Brendon looked over and shrugged, getting up and leaving the room. 

Josh looked back towards the tv which was rolling the credits and tried to decided what to do next. He had a sleeping Tyler in his arms, and he certainly didn’t want to wake him up. However,he also didn’t want to make Tyler feel uncomfortable by staying where they were. 

“Yo, just dump him in the second room, you can take the couch.” Brendon called, shirtless, from the hallway. 

Josh nodded and took his time in slowly prying himself to his feet, and pulling Tyler into his arms. He was surprised at just how light he was as he carried him into the room where he lay him down on the bed, purposely laying him on the area of the bed that wasn’t wet from the water dumped on the bed earlier in the night. Seeing as how it was after two am, Josh took up the offer to crash on the couch. He fell asleep with thoughts of a certain brunet filling his head.

\---

When Tyler woke up the next morning, he rolled onto his side and quickly jumped out of bed at the feeling of cold water seeping through his clothes. 

“Ah, shit,” Tyler shook his head and got up, pulling his sheets off with him and throwing them in the general direction of the laundry bin. He grabbed a towel from his closet, and crossed the hall into the bathroom to shower. He kept his shower short and to the point, and then when he got out he dried off completely before throwing on some basketball shorts, not bothering with a shirt or with styling his hair. He just wanted coffee at this point. 

He expected to wander into the living room to find beer cans all over the ground, and Brendon either up for work, or sleeping off a hangover. What he did not expect to find was a clean living room, fresh coffee brewed, and a certain Josh Dun sitting on his couch, legs crossed, phone in hand. 

“Uh, um, good morning?” Tyler tilted his head to the side uncertainly, looking at Josh who looked up quickly when Tyler spoke and let a beautiful smile fill his face. 

 

“Good morning, Tyler.” He said simply before adding, “There’s coffee ready if you want a pick me up?”

Tyler nodded dumbly before remembering he was half naked, (not that Josh minded in the slightest), so he mumbled that he’d be right back before running back to his room and pulling on the first t-shirt he saw then going back out to the living room. 

“I hope you don’t mind I spent the night,” Josh trailed off, “but Brendon said I could cause the movie didn’t end till like two and I’d have to walk home. But I did tidy some stuff up so I hope it’s alright.”

Tyler looked down shyly but smiled and nodded, “It’s all good, man, don’t worry about it.” He looked up again, “I wouldn’t want you to walk home that late, not safe out at night y’know.”

“I could get attacked.” Josh said, his face completely serious. 

“By the attackers.” Tyler responded, mimicking the serious lilt Josh had put on his own tone. This broke Josh’s facade, though, and soon they were both giggling. Tyler’s eyes lingered on Joshs face a little longer than he meant to allow and the two of them were holding eye contact until the crashing of a bedroom door flying open interrupted them.

“You fucks better have made me some goddamn coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story about the meme arguement thing, I was at cadets, which is a really formal setting, and one of my cpls comes up to me and tells me he has a really important question for me. Since im the drummajor I thought it would be band related but nope he just asks, "which is better? Dat Boi or Caveman Spongebob?" and I was so done :') 
> 
> Anyways, I only proofread this once, and that was at 12:40am but I just really wanted to get this posted.
> 
> Thanks so much for all the support from all of you! I might do a smutty one shot of Ty/Bren before Josh was around but idk.


	7. I want to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and fucking Brendon (not literally sry)

Brendon stumbled into the room and threw himself face first on the couch. While the other guys had gotten buzzed, Brendon always went all out, and this was not the first time Tyler had babied the older boy through a hangover. He put three sugar in a cup of coffee and brought it over to Brendon who took a sip and made dramatic choking noises before scoffing at the coffee and holding the cup back out towards Tyler. 

“This is disgusting! What the hell, Ty, I send you grocery shopping once and you bring back the scum of the coffee industry?” Brendon snaps before burying his face into the couch again.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, right Josh?” He looked over at the other boy hopefully.

Josh clears his throat awkwardly and shrugs, “I mean it’s not that bad, but it is pretty gross.”

Tyler sighs and dumps Brendons coffee into the sink, “It was so cheap, though.” He whines glaring at the box of coffee on the kitchen counter. 

“I can go grab some starbucks?” Josh offered and Brendon just nodded and gave him a thumbs up. “I need to shower and change anyways, so I can do that and bring some coffee on my way back?”

Tyler grinned and nodded, “Yeah, actually, um, that sounds great.” He scratched the back of his head. And with that Josh slid on his shoes, waved goodbye and it was just Tyler and his roommate.

Tyler searched through the kitchen cupboards until he found the aspirin and brought that and a cup of water over to Brendon. “Here,” He said and pulled Brendon up so he was sitting and could swallow down the painkillers. “I’ve got a question for you,” 

Brendon nodded and looked over, “What’s up?”

“Um, what should I, uh, okay sorry nevermind.” Tyler shook his head.

Brendon snorted, “Come on, man, what’s bugging you?”

Tyler tugged at his hair before spitting the words out, “I think I like, like-like Josh and I don’t know what to do.”

Brendon started giggling and shaking his head so Tyler huffed and swatted him on the back of his head. “Dickhead,” He mumbled, “I’m being serious!”

“I know you are, just tell him so, it’s obvious he’s either in love with your or wants to stick his dick in your ass, either way you should go for it.” Brendon shrugged and shut his eyes. 

“Brendon!” Tyler admonished as his face went red from what he had said. “What if it ruins the friendship thing we’ve got going on?”

“Then you come home and we play monopoly until you give up and let me win.” Brendon said as if he was explaining that B came after A. 

Tyler sighed and nodded, “Thanks, Bren,”

“Anytime, Ty,” Brendon said before standing up, placing a disgustingly spit heavy kiss on Tyle’rs forehead and leaving down towards the bathroom.

Tyler squawked indignantly and used his t-shirt to wipe the saliva off his face. He could hear the shower turn on and decided to get himself dressed and out of his basketball shorts. He put on black skinny shorts and a button up shirt, white with little sailboats all over it. He fluffed up his hair and made sure he was looking good before heading back to the living room and sitting on the couch. It was only a few minutes later that Brendon joined him. 

“Whoever birthed the man who created aspirin is the only woman I will ever fuck.” Brendon announced when he arrived. 

“She’s gotta be like so old, man.” Tyler replied, not even looking up from his phone.

“Don’t care, if her dna created a painkiller that makes me feel this good, who knows what she can do herself?”

Tyler gagged and shook his head, “That’s disgusting.”

“So are headaches so fuck you to.”

“Save that for Mrs Hoffmann.” 

“Ew it’s gross now that there’s a name.”

Tyler giggled a little bit, “Oh so you only get it on with girls when you don’t know their names?”

“I,” Brendon corrected, “Only ‘get it on’ as the fifth grader says, with women who birthed kids who made me drugs that allow me to drink without consequences.” 

Tyler just shook his head with a smile on his face. He looked up when he heard a knock on the door. He answered the door, and was surprised to see Josh already at his house. It was only 5 minutes ago the boy had texted asking what he wanted from the starbucks.

Noticing Tyler’s confusion, Josh said, “My Aunt gave me a ride.” 

“Ah, Josh, buddy, best friend, old pal,” Brendon greeted before reaching forward and taking the tray of coffee from him,turning, and leaving into the kitchen.

“Um, come in,” Tyler said and gestured into the house. 

“Thank you,” Josh smiled and of course Tyler had to smile back because there was no way he couldn’t smile just at seeing Josh smile. Both boys retrieved their coffees from where Brendon had sat them down, the tall man himself was drinking his while sitting on the couch. 

They chatted for a little while, Josh got two very different stories regarding how Brendon and Tyler met. 

“Well,” Brendon began, “I was super horny-”

“Shut up, Brendon, god no. It, um, well he was looking for a roommate and I was looking for a room.”

They continued bickering and Josh was a little bit jealous at how well the two got along, finishing each other's sentences and picking up on unspoken cues. If he didn’t know better, he really would think they were together. When their coffee’s ran out, they pulled out some chips and started up their wii for a mario kart tournament with a small wager that stated the two losers would have to buy the winner taco bell. They took turns picking the runs, Josh stuck to the easy one’s, like mario’s circuit, but Tyler would always pick the hardest ones in the game.

“Come on, Ty, you have to at least give us a chance!” Josh whined while Waluigi’s Gold Mine loaded. 

“I need a challenge, and you guys certainly aren’t providing it.” Tyler huffed.

“Hah, what a winner you are, Tyler. Such a champ, spending hours upon hours of your life mastering a child’s game.” Brendon taunted in return before sending a blue shell Tyler’s way. Brendon actually won that round.

Tyler still won overall and ensured his order at Taco Bell that night was thoroughly long. After dinner, Brendon had the genius idea of watching the sunset from the dock. 

“Yeah, we can all head home and change into warmer clothes then meet after the sun goes down?” Tyler said. 

“Yeah, let’s do it. Brendon, you actually had a good idea, I’m impressed.” 

Brendon dramatically put a hand against his chest and tossed his empty pop can at Josh’s head, “Asshole.” 

On the way back to Tyler and Brendon’s house, Brendon stopped his roommate and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You,” He had his eyes narrowed, “have to make a move tonight. You two are flirting so much it’s making me sick. Me!”

Tyler flinched back a bit and wiggled out of Brendons grip, “I don’t want to ruin anything.”

Brendon snorted and shook his head, “Come on Ty, grow a pair. I’ve already set you two up so when that sun goes down just like, I don’t fucking know, grab his dick or something.” 

“I will not grab his dick!” Tyler sputtered, then blushed when an older lady across the road glared at him. 

“Whatever but do something for gods sake the sexual tension is thicker than my penis.” 

“Brendon!”

\-----

Josh was at the dock several minutes early, so he took that time to set up the blankets he brought. A thick on for them to sit on, and a fuzzy one to keep them warm. Not that it was very cold out, despite it being past nine pm, but it was the aesthetic that counted. He was nervous about the night but at least Brendon would be there, which while Josh would 100% love to do this with just Tyler, Brendons presence would stop him from doing anything he might regret later. Like giving in and kissing Tyler. 

“Hey, you,” Tyler said behind him, and Josh whipped around to smile but his brow furrowed when he saw Tyler was alone. 

“Where’s Brendon?”

TYler swallowed thickly, “He, um, he said he was feeling sick so he, uh, stayed home to rest. Is that okay? Cause I can leave-”

“No, you can stay, silly.” Josh patted the spot next to him, “More blanket for us.”

Tyler sighed and relief and took a seat next to Josh but gave the blanket a skeptical look, “It’s not cold?” Confusion laced his tone.

“Uh, yeah but it’s like the aesthetic, ya know?”

“The fuzzy purple blanket in the middle of summer aesthetic?” Tyler questioned, but he put the blanket on anyways when Josh nodded enthusiastically. 

“Aesthetic makes the world go ‘round.” Josh hummed this to the tune of ‘rockin around the christmas tree’ and Tyler scrunched his face up.

“Christmas? Really? It’s like July.”

Josh grinned, “It’s always a good time for christmas music geez. Also, it’s almost christmas in july.”

“That’s so not a thing.”

“It so is.”

“Nope,”

Josh crossed his arms stubbornly, “Yep.” He popped his ‘p’.

Tyler giggled and shrugged, “Fine, whatever you say.”

“I am the christmas expert. Just so you know.”

“Learn something new every day.” Tyler said, “So do you rock the christmas aesthetic as well?”

Josh nodded, “Yep, I rock any aesthetic I want.” He paused then added, “You know, I googled it and the sun isn’t supposed to set till like 10:15 so we still have like a half hour till then.” He said, checking the time quickly to confirm his estimate on the time was at least close to correct. It was.

“Well, um, tell me something about yourself?” Tyler tried, cringing at how stupid the question was. 

Josh just answered, taking the question in stride, “Well, I love cats.”

“Really?” Tyler drawled with sarcasm dripping from his voice, “I couldn’t tell.” 

“Hey! I’m not that obvious!”

“There was a cat outside the taco bell and you made us stop so you could pet it for almost ten minutes!” Tyler said, laughing. 

“Yeah, I guess that could have hinted it.” Josh chuckled. “What about you? Cats or dogs?”

“Why do I have to pick one?” Tyler asked.

“Okay, how about this. Save the puppies or save the kittens from a burning building?” 

Tyler spent a while thinking about the question, “I wouldn’t save either of them.”

“That’s awful!” Josh tried not to laugh but couldn’t help it. 

“I know.” Tyler smiled fondly at the other boy, both were totally at ease, thighs touching under the blanket. 

“My ass hurts, we should lay down.” Josh said, and Tyler agreed so they laid down, staring up the sky that was already starting to darken, an orange hue was filling the sky. Josh decided it was the second most beautiful thing he’d seen in a long time, the first being Tyler as he stared in wonder at the sky as it filled with oranges, pinks, and purples. 

Tyler ripped his gaze away from the sky to look over at Josh just to see him already watching him. Josh blushed and looked away, training his eyes resolutely on the sky. When he felt Tyler’s hand wrap around his own he just smiled at the stars.

\----

When Tyler got back home, he was bombarded by Brendon. 

“You fucked him right?! Oh my god, I bet it was like those pornos where just friends go and even though you’re in public you’re alone and holy shit you totally actually grabbed his dick. You’re blushing so I know you did, ugh man give me the details and don’t spare anything.” 

“I-um,” Tyler cleared his throat and presented a small smile, “We held hands.” Tyler tried not to let Brendons groan damper his mood. 

“You seriously, holy fuck Ty what are you in grade five?! Nevermind, I did way more than holds hands with people in grade five.” Brendon was being dramatic, and Tyler knew it so he wasn’t bothered by what the other boy was saying. 

“You know what, I wasn’t ever going to do that, so chill.” Tyler said offhandedly hardly paying attention to Brendon as he texted Josh back saying he also got home safely.. 

“Oh, Tyler. Smol innocent Tyler. You should have kissed him. Or sucked him off.” 

Tyler shook his head and blushed, “That was definitely not going to happen.” 

“You missed an opportunity, man, you really did.” Brendon shook his head, “It’s a shame, really?”

“Why?” 

Brendon smirked suggestively, “He lives with his aunt, right?”

Tyler nodded.

“So if you guys were gonna fuck you’d come here, right?”

Tyler just raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I was hoping to listen.” Brendon winked and straight up skipped away and to his room. Tyler just groaned and dropped his head into his hands to hide his giggling. He thought back to after it had gone completely dark, nothing left to look at in the sky except for the stars. 

“I love the stars.” Josh had said, “I love how incredibly far away they are, but we can still see them, like no matter where I go or what happens I’m gonna see these stars.”

“Do you believe in aliens?” Tyler had asked. 

“Of course. There’s no way we’re the only things alive. Like think of how ridiculously far away that star is,” He had pointed at a cluster, “And that’s just one we can actually see, chances are there’s like more we can’t see. And somehow we’re the only living creatures? No way.”

Tyler giggled and nodded, laying his head against Josh’s shoulder and tightening his grip on his hand, “That’s fair.”

Tyler smiled at the very recent memory and started the dishwasher. He had talked to Josh and knew they weren’t going to be able to see eachother the next day, cause Josh’s aunt and uncle wanted time to bond or something like that. That on it’s own was disappointing but he knew Brendon would be happy to get to do something with him again. It felt good, Tyler decided, knowing that there were people who wanted to be around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to get out and yet? It still isn't good enough! So before I started this fic I had the whole thing plotted out on some blank receipt paper cause I was bored at work. But I lost the papers so I'm kinda lost now. Also, no matter what I did I was unhappy with this chapter, I still am. So even if you found it painful to read I really really hope the next one is better... I just filled this one with a shit ton of dialogue and brendon thinking hes funny.
> 
> Christmas in july is so a thing and Tyler IS pretty much in grade five.  
> Thanks for the patience guys (:
> 
> Also, anyone catch the interview reference I slipped in here?


	8. Takin' my time on the ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt/comfort? Nah just comfort tbh.

It was on a Friday that Josh and Tyler finally got to see each other again. Josh had been waiting impatiently, but when Tyler had texted him the day before to say he had had his first therapy session and wasn’t up for seeing anyone, Josh knew he had no right to insist otherwise. So he had spent the day lounging on the couch in his aunt's house and helping her with her gardening. 

But this morning Tyler texted him and asked him to meet him at their beach (yes, they called it their beach), with his swimsuit and a towel. Josh spent all morning making sure his hair was styled just right and that his sandals matched with his swim shorts which had to go well with his tanktop. When Josh got to the beach, he was early so he lay down his towel and laid back on it, hands linked behind his head, and sunglasses perched on his nose. He wasn’t worried about getting a sunburn since his aunt had lathered him up in sunscreen before he left. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Josh saw Tyler walk up to him, lay down his own blanket, and lay on top of it, but he didn’t have sunglasses so he swung his arm over his eyes. Josh smiled lightly and rolled onto his side so he was facing Tyler. 

“Hey man,” he said.

Tyler looked up from his arm but didn’t move it. Josh couldn’t help but notice that Tyler had bags under his eyes, well he usually did, but even more so now than usual and Josh just hoped he was sleeping alright. 

“Hiya Josh,” Tyler smiled and that was when Josh finally decided for sure that he was going to make a move on Tyler by the end of the day and if Tyler turned him down, he just hoped they could stay friends. He would be content to never see anything again other than Tyler’s endearingly crooked smile. And maybe his dick. But he wasn’t going to mention that part just yet. No, instead he would enjoy Tyler’s company and hopefully more than friendship by the end of the day.

“How was your night?” Josh asked.

Tyler grimaced a little bit and shrugged, “How was yours?” 

Josh frowned at Tyler’s avoidance of his question, but didn’t want to be annoying and push so he just answered Tyler’s question, saying that his night was good. They chatted for awhile, mostly about the normal things, the weather or what store was having what sale.

“I’m thirsty,” Tyler declared before sitting up, “C’mon, Josh, let’s go get something to drink.”

Josh flashed Tyler a devious smirk and rolled onto his stomach, his face still turned towards Tyler, “Trying to get me drunk, Tyler?”

Tyler blushed and shook his head, “No, I meant like mcdonald's dollar drinks or something. Pop! Not alcohol. I don’t drink anyways,” he laughed nervously. 

“I figured as much, just wanted to see you get rattled.” Josh said, his voice was gentle and his smile assured Tyler that he had indeed been teasing.

“Rattled is not a thing.” Tyler said.

“Is to! The slangiest slang.” Josh sat up and ran a hand through his hair, his voice nonchalant. 

Tyler shook his head and offered his hand to Josh to help him up, Josh was more than eager to take his hand to stand up and broke the awkward tension that followed by letting go and continuing his argument. 

“It’s about as cool as chapped.” Tyler retorted.

“Exactly!”

Tyler shook his head but was smiling, “I think you need to redefine cool, man.”

When they reached Mcdonalds they stood in line, not minding how long it was, after all they couldn’t expect immediate service when they came during the rush. When it came to their turn to order, Josh had no problem with placing the order himself after Tyler shyly asked if he would. 20 nuggets and two pops didn’t take long to come up and soon enough they were seated across from each other in the loud restaurant. 

“They have a hiring sign up here,” Josh said as he dipped a nugget into his barbeque sauce. 

“Yeah? You want to work here?” Tyler asked skeptically. 

Josh shrugged, “I dunno. Maybe. I need some kind of job fast.” 

Tyler nodded thoughtfully, “I could help you with writing a resume?”

“Would you?” 

“Of course.” Tyler smiled and Josh had to do the same.

\-----

Writing a resume was going great, except that every time Josh asked Tyler if something sounded right Tyler would just have to nod along or try to catch up with what was happening, he was brutally tired and kept zoning out. He was sure Josh had noticed but was thankful the other boy hadn't brought it up and hoped he wouldn't. Or that he wouldn’t now, he was too tired to deal with another interrogation. 

“Should I mention I’m good at lifting heavy stuff?” Josh asked uncertainly.

“Um yeah, no, maybe sorry why?” Tyler rushed through the last three words and rubbed at his eyes.

“Cause I am?”

“Are you applying for a job lifting things?”

“I sure hope not,” Josh answered.

“Okay, um, employers will prefer an almost empty resume instead of one full of bullshit or irrelevant facts.” Tyler supplied and let himself fall backwards onto Josh’s bed while the other backspaced his thing about lifting stuff up. He tried to keep his eyes open, he really really did, but it was also really really difficult to do that, the irregular sound of Josh’s keys typing were almost a lullaby to his sleep deprived mind and the thoughts that kept him awake the night before couldn’t reach him here, on the bed in Josh’s room. Like a teddy bear keeping him safe from monsters he thought to himself and then giggled a little bit at the thought of Josh being a big, red haired, teddy bear. 

“Okay I know it’s not great but you don’t have to laugh,” Josh huffed, playfully glaring at Tyler from the side of his eyes.

“M’not laughing at your res’me,” Tyler mumbled without opening his eyes. Josh may have replied to that statement, but Tyler didn’t hear it as sleep finally took him. 

When Tyler woke up he found he was still in Josh’s bed only now he was on it the right way with his head on the pillow and blanket up to his chest. He sat up a little disoriented and slipped out of the bed, forgetting to remake it as he stumbled out of the room and down the stairs. Josh was talking to somebody and Tyler stopped just outside of the kitchen and listened for a moment before going in. 

“Please, I promise we’ll just get pizza and play mario kart or something.”

“Fine, Joshua, but if I find out you threw a party or even drank any alcohol at all you’re out and back to Ohio, go it?” 

“For sure! I’m gonna go wake up Ty- Ohhi Tyler!” Josh waved Tyler into the kitchen. “This is my aunt!”

“Oh, um, hi. Tyler. But I guess Josh said that,” Tyler let out a nervous laugh and extended his hand to Josh’s aunt and she shook it. 

“Nice to meet you, Tyler. My husband and I are going out for the night, we’ll probably be back by midnight so you boys better behave.”

Tyler nodded dutifully then waited until she was gone before apologizing to Josh, “I’m sorry I fell asleep, really didn’t mean to i promise.”

“Nah it’s alright, man, you looked tired.”

“I was.”

There was a moment of silence before Josh broke it, “Sorry my aunt’s so like strict or whatever, but you know her house her rules. What kind of pizza do you want?” 

“It’s no problem believe me. Whatever you like, like for the pizza,” Tyler said easily and Josh rolled his eyes.

“C’mon what’s your favourite?”

“Seriously, I’ll just have a couple pieces of whatever you order.” Tyler smiled encouragingly.

Josh looked like he was going to argue again but just shrugged instead, “Is meat lovers okay?” 

Tyler nodded, “Yeah, definitely!” 

“Okay, um, I'll order pizza if you want to find the mountain dew in the fridge?” Josh suggested and Tyler nodded, so Josh pulled up his phone and dialed up pizza 73 and ordered a large meat lovers pizza and some honey garlic wings for delivery. 

Tyler followed Josh into the living room with two cans of baja blast mountain dew and sat down next to him. 

“So, you said you had therapy yesterday?” Josh said but regretted bringing up when he saw the way Tyler grimaced and seemed to sink further into the couch.

“Sorry,” Josh added, “I shouldn't have asked.”

“No, it's alright.” Tyler ran his fingers through his hair then grabbed on, “It was just frustrating, y’know? I've done this before, but I just need to be lifeguarding it's like it makes me feel like I'm not just wasting space. And progress is so slow in therapy that it just makes me angry.” Tyler was on a roll now, “And like my psychiatrist is okay I guess but he's delving into stuff that isn't even relevant to why I can't work and I just,” Tyler huffed and shut his eyes, “sorry about that.”

Josh tentatively reached an arm around Tyler and was relieved that Tyler leaned into the contact without a complaint. “You don't have to apologise, I don't mind listening.”

Tyler nodded, “I shouldn't be mad, I just don't want to talk about old issues and really there is nothing new just stuff I faked through.”

“So I'm a little confused,” Josh admitted, “Why can't you be lifeguarding right now?”

Tyler chewed on his lip a little before he answered, “Um it's company protocol that if an incident occurs during your shift that requires an EMS then you, the lifeguard I mean, has to do a psych evaluation and like this wouldn't be a problem but I kinda faked my way through the one when I got hired.”

It dawned on Josh that his stupid decisions is what caused Tyler's problems and he felt a heavy sinking feeling of guilt. “Oh man, Tyler, I am so so sorry.” 

Tyler looked up at him with confusion etched on his face, “Why?”

Josh bit his lip and looked away, “I can't believe I caused this, I never even thought of the consequences I might have on other people.”

“Oh right. Hey, it's alright. All you did was go swimming, and yeah you shouldn't have, but it's not like you killed anyone.” Tyler assured him.

Josh sighed and nodded, “I still just wish I hadn't you know?”

Tyler nodded and smiled although it looked more like a grimace, “Besides Brendon has been trying to get me back in therapy for months so maybe this is like a blessing in disguise; at least I don't have to pay this way.”

Josh really didn't know how to reply, he had a hundred questions to ask but didn't want to risk overstepping any bounds. Thankfully he was saved by the ringing of his doorbell and he excused himself to go get their food. When he came back Tyler was fidgeting and texting on his phone. But put it away immediately when Josh walked back in and stood up to help him put the food on the coffee table. 

“Okay so we should watch a movie or TV or something.” Josh said, “I mean if you want to of course!”

Tyler nodded, “Yeah sounds good to me.”

“Okay um, well I have Netflix and like all of xfiles, sex and the city, and fight club on DVD but it's really up to you. I picked pizza so you can pick this?”

Tyler nodded, “I'm down with xfiles if you are?”

“Aw frick yeah!” Josh grinned as he pulled out his season 1 disk and got it set up. “This is seriously my favourite show. It was one of the only things except for my clothes that I brought from home!” 

“Do you miss Ohio?” Tyler asked, noting that Josh sat right beside him despite the expanse of couch available. 

“Not really,” Josh shrugged, “Like my parents are really religious and they're great I mean I love them to bits but man it's nice to get some freedom you know. Like I kinda want a labret piercing and at home they'd convince me not to, but here? I can just go for it. And well it's California in the summer! Way more interesting than Ohio ever.”

Tyler nodded, “I don't miss it at all. I'd be okay with living here for the rest of my life, I think.”

They were interrupted by the xfiles theme song and both boys fell silent except for the sounds of their pop cans opening. 

After three episodes, Tyler found himself growing tired again and took the risk of leaning up against Josh under the blanket he'd gotten after the first episode finished. After four episodes, Tyler found himself nestled in Josh's arms, his face pressed against the other boys neck. So what he couldn't really see the screen? He was listening. 

When Josh excused himself to the bathroom, Tyler pulled out his phone to find a barrage of texts from Brendon waiting for him.

RECEIVED, BEEBO:  
Tyler bbbb you got thsk dont let ur anxiety reck this for u kkkk? 

RECEIVED, BEEBO:  
I swtg if ypu arent answrring me.Cuz ur fccknn ur boi ill be the proudest dad in thebcounty 

RECEIVED, BEEBO:  
If u arent fcukibg him then like do it

RECEIVED, BEEBO:  
If u dont I might hes hot tbh u kno????? That whole bad boy thing mmm turn on much???

RECEIVED, BEEBO:  
rite ur in grd 5 kiss him??but like lots of kissisng and maybe some rubbing dont hold back buddy 

Tyler sighed and didn't bother replying but just out his phone away instead. He definitely was not going to do the do with Josh just yet, (or maybe at all!), but maybe Brendon was right in that he could always kiss him. He was pretty sure the attraction must be mutual, since Josh was so touchy all the time. And Tyler was definitely not complaining. So, he resolved, he was going to kiss Josh Dun tonight. He started that endeavor by resuming his place pressed against Josh, face to his neck, when the other boy returned.

\---

It was well past midnight, Josh's aunt and Uncle had gotten home and gone to bed, and Tyler had texted Brendon to let him know he was spending the night, to which Josh was sure he had a lot of crude comments to provide. 

They were finished almost an entire season of xfiles before Josh paused it and they just chatted for awhile. Whispered questions and muted giggles. 

“Hey, Tyler?” Josh whispered right into Tyler's ear, and if he shivered from the intimacy he would never admit it. 

“Yeah, Jish?” Tyler tilted his head towards josh's face and oh shit there was Josh's face and Josh's lips and his eyes. 

Both boys seemed to have the same idea as Tyler braced himself with an arm over Josh lap as he lifted himself up and forward and Josh leaned forward until their lips met. It felt slow motion to Josh, Tyler's eyes fluttered shut but Josh kept his open, watching Tyler, shadowed since the only light source was the paused TV. They kissed until Tyler pulled back to breath and started giggling into Josh's collar. 

“What's funny?” Josh asked but Tyler just shrugged and kept giggling when he calmed down a bit he swung himself over so he was seated on Josh's lap facing him and tilted his head so now he was whispering in Josh's ear instead of the other way around. 

“Can we do that again?” 

Josh tried to answer but words failed him so he just nodded. Tyler traced Josh's jawline with his nose before laying his lips on Josh’s again, this time with more confidence. He had both hands on Josh’s shoulders, holding him in place. When Tyler wiggled his hips to get more comfortable Josh knew he wasn't going to be able to not have a boner for much longer if he didn't stop Tyler. 

He didn't stop Tyler. 

Instead he wound his own arms around the boy and deepened the kiss, they only broke apart to breath but then got right back into it. Josh became quite suspicious that Tylers hip wiggling wasn't nearly as innocent as he originally thought. 

Eventually Tyler broke away and blushed, turning bright red, before mumbling something about using the bathroom and Josh found himself alone on his couch more than a little bit aroused and wondering what exactly just happened and how he could make it happen again. 

He reached down and palmed dick and had to bite back a groan at how good that felt but then made himself pull his hand back before he got too excited. Tyler still wasn't back so he took that time to think all the most disgusting thoughts possible to will his erection away. When Tyler did return they put the TV back on and cuddled until they both drifted into sleep laying together on the couch.

When they woke up the next morning neither were very comfortable, they were sleeping on a fairly small couch after all. Josh was spooning around Tyler who was almost falling off the couch but he was definitely awake and texting. 

“Good morning,” Josh mumbled to him. 

Tyler shut off his phone and turned himself so he was facing Josh, “Good morning.”

Josh couldn't keep a smile off his face and grey just stared at each other for a minute before Josh broke the silence, “I really need to brush my teeth.” 

“Oh yeah. Sorry.” Tyler rolled off of the couch and onto the ground. 

“Um I actually don't have a spare brush.” Josh bit his lip, “Sorry.”

Tyler just shrugged, “That's okay. I should head home anyways y’know? Also, uh, Brendon's having something of a, well a party tonight and you should totally come. Like if you don't already have plans of course.” 

Josh smiled brightly, “No, I'd really love to! Can I bring anything?”

“Nah, don't worry, Brendon's got it all covered,” Tyler waved his hand and then they caught each other's eyes for a moment for Tyler blushed and looked away, “Well I guess I'll go, um, I'll see you tonight!” 

“See you tonight, Tyler.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG like nghhh I really really do apologize. I opened this on google drive almsot everyday and could never write like a sentence before I felt like i'd explode and idk why so im sorry ): 
> 
> Also Brendon is shitty at texting can't change my mind on that either. 
> 
> I worked like 50 hrs this week but it was so worth it because I'M SEEING TWENTY ONE PILOTS at the local music festival they just released the day they'd be here and bless their souls they said at their concert in april that they loved us and would come back and they are and im dying of excitement. It was having enough for the ticket that got my hyped enough to edit this fckn chapter (finally).


	9. Release me from the present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gets a little spicy at the end be warned

Tyler got back to his house, having taken transit this time, to find it empty. He tried to recall if Brendon had work that day or not, but didn’t think so. Regardless, he decided to use his time to shower and get dressed and, if he had time, do some cleaning. Still frustrated from the night before, Tyler briefly considered jacking off in the shower, but felt guilty at the idea just turned the water onto cold instead. Getting dressed didn’t take him long and he found his idea of cleaning the house far less appealing than he had before. 

“Lunch instead,” He said to himself and turned some music on on his phone and started searching through the cupboards for something to cook. He ended up giving up and just stuck a frozen pizza into the oven and set the timer for twenty minutes. 

After sitting down on the couch and started scrolling through netflix in a fruitless attempt to find something to watch he heard the front door rattle as someone wiggled at the lock. He expected Brendon, so when he looked up from the couch and saw some other guy entering the house he threw himself over the back of the couch to hide, but he landed awkwardly on his arm and let out a cry of pain. 

“Umm, hello?” The stranger called. Tyler groaned and moved himself so he was peeking up from behind the couch. 

“Who’re you?” He demanded.

“Dallon, a friend of Brendon’s… You must be his roommate?” 

“Mhmm,” Tyler stood up from behind the couch, “I’m Tyler. He gave you a key?” 

Dallon nodded, “He’s, uh, we were getting some drinks for tonight and he forgot his wallet so he sent me to pick it up. Sorry, I would have knocked but he said you wouldn’t be home.”

Tyler nodded slowly, evaluating the story of this intruder, “Okay, come on in. You kinda took me by surprise, that’s all, I heard the door and assumed it would be Brendon. He could have texted me.” He added the last part in a mumble that he kinda hoped this Dallon dude wouldn’t hear. “His wallet should be in his room, second on the left down that hallway.” Tyler pointed him in the right direction and seated himself back on the couch, a little embarrassed about his reaction. 

He resumed his netflix journey, finding nothing he considered worth watching and just gave up and put pokemon on for background noise. He got up to get his phone from where it was charging in the kitchen and to check on the pizza. It wasn’t done yet, but it was close so he just waited around in the kitchen. 

When Dallon left they said very awkward see you laters and then Tyler was alone again. The timer went off and he pulled the pizza out and put two pieces on a plate and brought it into the living room to eat while he watched some indigo league. 

He did not throw himself over the couch the next time the front door opened, although part of that might have been because Brendon was the one coming in, a six pack in each hand. Dallon followed behind him with a few grocery bags. 

“Lot’s of stuff in the car if you want to help us bring it in?” Brendon suggested, putting down the cases he was holding. 

Tyler glanced at the front door but shook his head, “Nah. I’m not even drinking, you get it yourself.”

“Ugh. Lazy dickhead.” Brendon spat without any venom and a small smile on his lips. They brought in more stuff, including snacks, juice, pop, and copious amounts of alcohol. Tyler remained on the couch purposefully being unhelpful.

Dallon chuckled after they got everything in, and when Tyler raised his eyebrows questioning him, he answered saying, “You don’t think it’s kind of funny? Like Brendon just bought over a hundred dollars in hard alcohol and you’re at home watching pokemon…” Dallon trailed off and shrugged, “I don’t know, I just found it funny.”

Tyler glared at him, “Well pikafuck you,” Then he grinned, “I’m just kidding around. I don’t usually watch this, I just didn’t know what else to watch.” 

Dallon nodded and let out a nervous airy laugh and Tyler felt like drowning himself in the fabric of the couch. He couldn’t believe he had made things even more awkward. And awkward it was as Dallon tried to distract himself on his phone and Tyler just stared at the tv, the quiet sounds of Ash’s attempt to prove himself broadcasted across the room. 

Thankfully Brendon broke the tension by running into the room and sliding on his stomach so he was on the floor in front of Tyler, head in his hands and eyelashes fluttering. “So, Tyler. How was fucking Josh?” 

Tyler groaned and threw his head back, he couldn’t help but notice Dallons eyes widen and his phone was pulled a little closer to his face. He looked back down at Brendon and kicked his forehead with the toe of his socked foot. “I didn’t, didn’t, didn’t do that, Brendon. Why do you care so much about my sex life.”

“Um, one, ew. Keep your foot away from my hairline, please.” Brendon sat up, still facing Tyler. “Because until now I was your sex life so I’d like to hear all about how much better I am in bed, and how much bigger my-”

“Shut up!” Tyler interrupted, throwing the throw pillow on the couch at Brendon and hitting him square in the face. “You are actually the worst person, brendon, I’m moving out.”

Brendon scoffed, “I am SO offended. I am the best thing that has ever happened to you, you ungrateful, insolent, child. You can’t move out.” Brendon stood up, “I kick you out! Dallon will be my new roommate,” He ran over wrapped himself around the taller boy who just glanced at him disdainfully, “Right, buddy?”

“Sure.” Dallon shrugged. 

“Whatever,” Tyler stood up, “I’m taking a nap.” 

Brendon couched into his hand, “Jacking off.” And Tyler didn’t even bother replying. 

When he woke up, it was to the loud laughing of whoever Brendon had over. He checked the time and sighed, it was only five pm, meaning the noise was not going away anytime soon. Tyler would never stop Brendon from hosting parties, after all, Tyler did annoying things too. And Brendon was always careful to help with the cleaning, and always checked it was okay with Tyler first, but none of that meant Tyler liked it. He texted Josh back, saying that he could show up whenever he wanted, but that the party didn’t technically start till 7. 

In the living room Tyler saw Brendon, Dallon, and some other guy he’d never met were in the living room sitting on the couch, and on the floor was a guy with a big afro of hair and some tattoos. He had a bag next to him, and they seemed to be arguing but stopped when a blurry eyed Tyler walked in.

Brendon jumped up off the couch and guided Tyler back into his room. “Brendon, what the heck, man?”

“Listen, okay I just need you to stay in here for like five, okay maybe ten, minutes.” Brendon explained quickly.

“Not unless you tell me what’s going on.” Tyler crossed his arms. “And who that guy is.”

“He’s my buddy Joe. He’s just dropping some stuff off for the party, but he doesn't like de-dropping off around strangers?” Brendon knew he was stretching the story thin but was just hoping Tyler would be naive enough to not question it. 

“What do you mean?” Tyler asked, and then he got it. Why Brendon was being so secretive and dodging around explaining what was actually going on. “Oh come on Brendon, in the house? You’re going to get us both arrested!” Tyler rubbed at his eyes and then pulled at his hair. 

“Hey now, none of that,” Brendon said, pulling down Tyler’s hands. “It’s just weed, I promise. It’s like barely illegal.”

Tyler groaned and shook his head, “No coke? Cause remember what happened last time?”

Brendon snorted, “I remember the hella great sex I had that night.”

“Oh my gosh, Brendon!”

“Hey, Tyler, I’m just kidding, don’t sweat it man. Just weed.” Brendon smiled convincingly and Tyler knew that smile was the smile Brendon used to try to make him do stuff but he also knew he wasn’t going to be a dick and get in their way. 

“Fine. But I don’t like it, and please don’t make the place smell awful.” Tyler huffed and sat on his bed, “You have seven minutes.”

“Thank you thank you thank you, Tyler!” Brendon spoke quickly then ran out of the room, leaving the door open. Tyler tried to pretend he wasn’t sitting one room away from a literal drug deal. If his family knew that this is the life he was living… That thought actually made him laugh, although it was humourless. Screw his parents, Brendon was great.

Not wanting to interrupt again Tyler actually gave them about fifteen minutes before he emerged from his bedroom again, and sure enough this Joe dude was gone. Brendon was on the couch with the guy Tyler didn't know and Dallon was in the kitchen setting up some cups from the bags still on the floor in the living room. 

“Sorry about that, Ty.” Brendon said and Tyler just shrugged and dodged around Dallon to pull the electric kettle out of the cupboard, fill it with water and turn it on. He was wordless as he hunted down the hot chocolate powder and a mug too. 

“Um,” Brendon said and gestured the guy sitting beside him, “This is Spencer. From work. Spencer this is my roommate Tyler.” He waved over at Tyler who smiled and waved at Spencer. 

“Hey Tyler, heard lots about you.” Spencer said.

Tyler sat down at the island and spun on the chair so he was facing the two in the living room, finished hot chocolate in hand. “Only good things, I hope?”

Spencer laughed, “Of course. Brendon adores you.” He said then grunted when Brendon elbowed him. 

“No, I’m kickin’ him out of the house, don’t tell him I like him!” Brendon said with a dramatic eyeroll.

“You’re kicking him out?” Spencer asked, looking genuinely concerned and glancing between the two.

“I guess so,” Tyler shrugged, “I don’t remember why though.”

“Because,” Brendon jumped in, “He is an ungrateful child that will not acknowledge that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. As his father I am kicking him for, for, for disrespect!” 

“Don’t call yourself my dad, Brendon, please.” Tyler sighed and took a drink from his hot chocolate, burning his tongue. 

Dallon took the pause that followed to speak up, sitting in the stool next to Tyler, “Brendon has a daddy kink confirmed.” 

Tyler groaned and spun around in his chair so he could lay his head on the counter, and Spencer started faux gagging but Brendon stood up and shouted, “Fuck yeah I do, Dallon, princess, baby boy, come suck daddy’s cock?” 

“Should I leave?” Josh spoke up, voice hesitant, from the front door. “The sign on the door said to walk in but uhh.” 

Tyler whipped around in his seat, nearly knocking his drink over and looked over at Josh who was blushing bright red and standing the doorway. The other three guys were laughing their asses off but Tyler just facepalmed and got up to walk over to Josh trying to think of how he was going to explain this one. 

“No, please stay, Josh. I need some sanity,” Tyler said seriously. Josh nodded, uncertain, and stepped a little further into the house.

Tyler pulled him in the house a little more and shut the door behind him, “I don’t even know what to say about Brendon, but I can assure you he was just being a dumbass.” 

“Besides,” Dallon spoke up, “If we hooked up Brendon would be doing the dicksucking.” 

“Hah! Fuck you.” Brendon scoffed.

“I top, sorry.” Dallon shrugged.

Tyler grimaced at the crude conversation and mouthed ‘help me’ at Josh then said, “Uhh, Josh, come see my room?”

“Hmm,” Brendon rubbed at his chin as if contemplating something serious, “Nice line, Ty, I might try it myself next time I want a dick up my ass.”

“Knew it!” Dallon shouted and fist pumped. 

Tyler rolled his eyes and beckoned for Josh to follow him as he led the way to his room which was thankfully fairly tidy. When they were both in there he shut the door behind them. “I am so sorry about that.” 

Josh just laughed, “Nah, it’s okay they’re just being funny.” 

“Brendon always gets a kick out of seeing me uncomfortable, I think,” Tyler grumbled, “But he’s still my best friend so I put up with it.” 

Josh nodded, “I know what you mean, I used to have this friend Debby who would always poke fun at me but it was all in good fun, y’know?”

“Used to?” 

Josh rubbed at the back of his neck, “Yeah, we had some very different opinions about some stuff when she admitted to like wanting to date me and I was like sorry but I’m kinda really gay, and then she said some stuff about it being a phase and whatever and we don’t talk anymore.” He shrugged, “It sucked a lot losing her friendship, but it’s probably for the best.”

“Oh,” Tyler frowned, “Man that is really awful. I’m sorry.”

“Nah it’s alright, she was one reason I decided to spend the summer here and that’s turning out pretty great.” Josh grinned at Tyler.

“Yeah, what’s more fun than drowning in the ocean?” Tyler kept his face dead serious.

“Being pulled out of it by you?”

Tyler giggled a bit and shrugged, “Yeah okay, that’s pretty great, I’ve heard.”

“Pull a lot of guys out of the ocean?” 

“Ehh a few,” Tyler tried to keep serious but couldn’t. 

“Brendon sure had a lot of alcohol, eh?” Josh said. Tyler gestured for him to sit next to him, and so they were both sitting on Tyler’s bed, backs against the wall.

“Yeah no kidding. And some weed. You ever walked in on a drug deal in your living room? Cause I checked that one off my bucket list today.” Tyler shook his head to show his disapproval. 

Josh raised both eyebrows in surprise, “Wow. Uh, no, i never have.”

“Well,” Tyler let out a puff of air, “It’s awkward.” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Josh agreed. “You know, I’ve been thinking of re-dyeing my hair.” He looked over at Tyler to gauge his reaction.

Tyler hummed and tilted his head to the side and shut his eyes. “You,” He opened his eyes and made eye contact with Josh, “Would be absolutely adorable with pink hair.”

Josh hesitated before saying, “Pink?”

“Pink.” Tyler nodded, “I mean of course you can do whatever you want, but I think pink would be super cute.”

“I’m not really going for cute,” Josh laughed, “I’m kind of aiming for badass? Or cool.”

“Too bad,” Tyler pecked Josh on the nose, “You were born too cute to be badass.”

Josh pursed his lips and sighed, “Well there goes that dream. I guess my mum was right.”

“About what?”

“Well she also warned me that no matter how many piercings or tattoos I got I’d still be a sweet little four year old to her,” Josh laughed and shook his head. “But I think, if I tattooed like alien face paint on my face..” Josh trailed of and laughed when Tyler smacked his arm gently. 

“You wouldn’t!”

Josh shrugged, “I don’t know maybe. I’d like to prove my mum wrong for sure.”

“If you did, I think she’d still say the same things just to be right, no?” Tyler said.

“Oh,” Josh nodded, “Yeah, okay, probably.”

Before Tyler could respond a crappy sounding bassline started playing from the living room and Tyler sighed, “Well looks like the party is starting.”

“Does Brendon host a lot of parties?” Josh asked. 

Tyler pouted, “Not really, I guess. Like one or two a month? But he always goes all out.” He brightened up a bit, “Of course it’s always nice to get the awkward first meeting over with, like with his buddies from work, while they’re drunk cause then I can’t mess it up and make a fool of myself. Speaking of which! One of his friends, Dallon, oh my gosh I gotta tell you about how awkward meeting him earlier today was. I thought he was some kind of criminal or something.” Tyler launched into a detailed explanation of what had unfolded during his lunch, showing off the bruise on his elbow as proof. 

After he finished his story, Josh jumped into one about his brother thinking he was intruding when he snuck through his bedroom window after staying out three hours past his curfew. 

“Okay so I thought I was home free, and I turned around to shut the window behind me, right? And then bam Jordan had brought his lacrosse stick down onto my shoulder. He felt so bad when he saw it was me, but I had to hide a bruised collar bone from my parents for weeks cause I couldn’t have them asking about what happened.”

Tyler was laughing hard, knees brought up to his chest and he was wiping at his eyes, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing,” He wheezed, “That must have hurt!”

“Oh it did. But don’t be sorry, it’s hilarious looking back.” Josh said and met Tyler’s eyes, he decided to take the risk and brought his lips to Tyler’s. 

Tyler let his eyes fall shut for a moment then opened them, and pushed himself on top of Josh and took control of the kiss. He wasted no time slipping his hand up under Josh’s shirt and trailed his fingers up and then down the center of his chest and then he blindly traced around each of Josh’s abs then ran his entire hand up the left side of the other boys chest. He found Josh’s nipple and pulled back from the kiss to watch Josh’s reaction as he rolled it between his fingers and then slowly added pressure so he was pinching him. 

Josh bit his lip and threw his head back, his stomach tensing. “Good?” Tyler asked, pinching it again, this time with his finger nails and Josh nodded frantically. 

Tyler grabbed Josh’s jaw with his free hand and brought his head down so he could kiss him again. He didn’t stop playing with Josh’s nipple, but only the left side. He eventually moved on, dragging his hand painfully slowly down Josh’s chest and dipped his pointer and middle finger in Josh’s waistband, but only to the first knuckle. He ran his fingers around the front of Josh’s pants and then snapped the elastic on his boxers and pulled back, looking at the other boy with hooded eyes. 

“We have a party to get to,” Tyler said and rolled off of Josh, completely ignoring both his own erection and Josh’s. Tyler looked down at himself and thanked the stars he had worn tight enough jeans and a long enough shirt to keep discreet, but Josh was a lot less lucky with his basketball shorts. “There’s a, uh, bathroom across the hall if you want to get yourself sorted, I have to help Brendon figure out how to balance the sound system.” He winked at Josh and left the room. 

\--

Josh laid on the bed, still just staring at the open door that Tyler left through and then hit his head against the wall behind him and groaned. Well, he decided, two could play at this game. He stayed in Tylers room until he had calmed down, which was pretty damn difficult, and then confident in his ability to control himself he went down the hallway and into the living room/kitchen area of the house. Looked at the clock on the oven it was 7:17 and there were probably a half dozen people there, Brendon was kneeling beside the tv where he had a sound system set up and there was Tyler, legs straight and bent over fiddling with the settings. Josh shut his eyes and shook his head and then headed towards Tyler but was stopped by some tall guy who he was pretty sure was the Dallon guy from earlier. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about like when you first got here, if that made you uncomfortable.” The guy said.

“No, it’s okay, I think I just walked in at a bad time,” Josh said and laughed to show things were good and the guy nodded and patted him on the back before walking away. 

That interruption aside he made his way to Tyler without said boy noticing until he was right beside him on the other side as Brendon and whispered in his ear, “It’s on.” Before stepping back and leaning casually against the wall to watch as Brendon smirked at him and Tyler blushed. 

It was on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SAW TYLER AND JOSH TONIGHT and friiiiiiickkkkk theyre so damn good I cant even believe it help.  
> I love 'em so much. I saw halsey too and i was just blown away with how amazing both her and her voice is like daaamn.
> 
> It's on ;)


	10. Laugh in the face of gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time feat. sexy times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned: https://youtu.be/UyipD6oL9Ew  
> (Dirty Laundry by Bittersweet, Skeewif remix)
> 
> I seriously recommend listening to it cause it sets the mood ya know

It's on.

Josh had the first move in whatever this game they were playing was, and he was determined to get Tyler off to a shaky start. He didn't know just what turned on Tyler yet, but he did know he liked to be in control, so Josh left his place on the wall after a little while to find someone else to talk to. He just hoped he wasn't taking it a step too far in what he planned to do. 

Tall-guy maybe Dallon seemed way to awkward but he didn't want to lead on a stranger and really just wanted someone who would flirt with him in front of Tyler knowing what his intentions were so he asked Spencer for Brendon's cell number and then texted him.

SENT: Brendon  
Hey man long story short I need to make Tyler low-key jealous 

He put his phone back in his pocket and waited for a buzz, at a point he saw Brendon open his phone but he never got a text back. He didn't have to wait long though before Brendon called for him over the music and Josh dutifully wandered over but was surprised to find Tyler was no longer there. 

“Okay, here's the deal,” Brendon said. “Don't do this making him jealous bullshit, okay?” 

Josh felt a drop of guilt and grimaced but before he could explain himself Brendon jumped in, “You guys are doing some gay chicken shit or something, right?” 

“Kinda I guess.” Josh shrugged. 

Brendon nodded, “Okay so personally I find it hot as fuck to get all riled up and jealous and shit but it might not seem like it but Tyler's got one hell of a low self esteem and he's not in a great headspace these days so I don't think you'd get the reaction you're looking for in making him jealous.”

Josh nodded, “Yeah that makes sense. I probably should have thought that through better.” He felt bad for even suggesting it now, since the way Brendon explained it sounded so obvious.

Brendon shrugged, “Whatever man, it's a good idea in itself. But I am gonna help you.” He paused and when Josh didn't say anything he continued, “Tyler is one of the biggest teases I've ever met, I swear to god he gets off on the foreplay more than the fucking. And I'm pretty sure it's cause he likes to hear his partner beg, make him feel desired and shit I dunno. But make him feel wanted. It might not feel like you're winning, but make him think you're desperate for him. Also, dirty talk, if you're good at it is,” he gave a thumbs up, “always a good play.”

Josh nodded slowly, “Okay, um, wow, thanks?”

Brendon smiled and walked away, saying, “No problamo buddy,” over his shoulder.  
Josh was feeling more than a little overwhelmed after all he'd just been told his boyfriend(?)s turn ons by said boy’s best friend. Of course Brendon had never seemed like a normal guy. 

He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to actually put any of what Brendon had said into practice but he was sure that finding Tyler would be a good start. 

He looked around for a bit before opening the back door and stepping out onto the patio and sure enough Tyler was sitting on a lawn chair, one leg folded over the other and his phone in hand. He looked up and grinned when he saw Josh. 

“Hello, Joshua.” He said innocently. 

Josh plastered what he hoped was a suggestive smirk on his face, unless his drooping eyelids and biting his lip just made him look ridiculous. But judging by the way Tyler shifted in his seat, he thought it was working. 

“Hey there, Tyler. Too bad you took off earlier, you missed all the fun,” He pouted hoping it made his lips look good. He made sure to sway his hips as he slunk around the chair Tyler was reclining on so he ended up behind him. He slid his hands down the back of the chair and rested them on Tyler’s shoulder, letting a thumb trail ever so gently along Tyler’s cheek on the way down. “I needed help,” He whispered, his hot breath hitting Tyler’s ear, “But I just had to take care of myself instead.” 

Josh felt Tyler shiver lightly under his hands so he continued, “Are you cold? Cause I can think of some ways to warm you up again. Y’know. Cardio.” He took the risk of letting one hand run further down his chest, flicking Tyler’s nipple through his shirt before stopped on his stomach. “I was thinking about you while I took care of my problem.” 

For his final move he placed a teasing kiss against the side of Tyler’s neck and moaned, probably loud enough for anyone nearby to hear, “I wanted you so bad, Tyler.” He pulled back and ruffled Tyler’s hair ignoring his dropped jaw and widened pupils, “But that’s taken care of. I’m gonna go find some food.” He smiled brightly and walked into the house again without even looking back.

Things were really getting packed inside the house and Josh to do a bit of strategic maneuvering to reach where Brendon had set up a ridiculous number of boxes of pizza. But man it looked good. He tried to get back outside after grabbing his pizza but some pop song came on and everyone was jumping and dancing so he retreated to a corner in the room instead to eat in peace until he could find a chance to bust through the crowd again. 

After that song ended the next one started up and Josh made his break but only made it halfway into the living room before some remix of ‘dirty laundry’ came on and the energy resurfaced. The energy was a little too sexually charged for Josh but before he could make his escape he felt an arm wrap around his middle and somebody grinded into his ass. He tried to spin around to shove off whatever asshole thought they had the right to jump on him but stilled when he heard Tyler’s voice almost yelling into his ear to be heard over the music. “S’just me.” 

He let himself relax again, leaning back against Tyler a bit and biting his lip when he felt Tyler’s lips mouthing at his neck and behind his ear. When he felt Tyler suck on his earlobe and even stick his tongue in his gauge he shivered cause oh shit even he didn’t know that could be such a turn on. Unlike in the backyard where they were exposed they blended right in with the rest of the horny bastards dancing in the way too small living room. It smelt like sweat and booze but all of that fell away with the rhythmic grinding from behind him. The music just added to the mood. 

Halfway through the song Tyler spun him around and Josh almost melted when he saw the lustful gaze Tyler had, his eyes obviously staring at Josh’s lips for a few beats before Tyler lunged into a kiss. A kiss that Tyler deepened with a hand on the back of Josh’s head, he had full control of the kiss and Josh made no move to try to take over. Tyler’s other hand wandered around him so it was resting on his ass and he squeezed it pulling a moan from Josh’s throat. 

Tyler grinded forward again and Josh thought his knees might give out. Tyler pulled back from his mouth and leaned his forehead against Josh’s, staring down at him with dark hooded eyes that made Josh shiver with anticipation but then the song was falling away leaving just the lead guitar and then just like that it ended and Tyler pulled back completely; Josh really did almost fall over then. As the next song rolled in, some rock song this time, Tyler grabbed Josh’s wrist and pull him through the crowd and into the backyard. 

Only a few songs ago when Tyler was in the lawn chair the backyard had less than a dozen people milling about but now, while it was less crowded than inside the house, it was still busy. Josh was starting to question how Brendon knew this many people. Unless he didn't of course. 

There was a heated game of what looked like stella-ella-olla but half the people were missing clothes. “Um,” Josh cleared it his throat, “Any idea what they’re doing?” Josh nodded his head towards the circle of people, one of whom was Brendon himself sitting right next to the Dallon guy. 

Tyler giggled and nodded, “Brendon always takes kids games and make them strip-whatever the game is. I dunno why but he does it every party.”

Josh’s eyes lit up and he grinned, “Let’s go play.”

Tyler looked at him with surprise, “What, really?” 

Josh shrugged, “I don’t see why not, right?” Tyler hesitated but then nodded and followed Josh over. Right when they got there everyone was redressing as Brendon starting explaining the new game they were playing. 

“Right so you-you’ve all played handshake murdererer right?” Everyone nodded to agree and he continued, “Kay so this is,”He paused for dramatic effect, “This is handshake strip murder.” 

“What the fuck,” Dallon said, “This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“Shut up you,” Brendon put his hand on Dallon’s face. “If you know who the stripper killer person is you gotta tell me and then you getta put your clothes back on. OH! And if someone shakes your hand if they shake it and they squeeze twice you gotta remove a clothing thing. If ya shake my hand and I squeeze it twice you’re a murdering strip guy but if you already are then you’re not anymore, cool?”

Josh was honestly mostly confused and was thankful that everyone around shared the same sentiment. 

Dallon shook his head at Brendon, “Nope that makes no sense nice try. Nobody understood you, Brendon.”

Brendon pouted and crossed his arms and huffed, “Fine someone else pick something then.”

“Spin the bottle!” Some guy shouted and almost everyone around the circle, including Tyler groaned.

“Spencer no.” Dallon said.

“Spencer yes,” Spencer said and after some grumbling and bargaining it was decided, spin the bottle but the person who the bottle landed on could choose to kiss the person or take off an article of clothing since Brendon seemed dead set on losing some layers. 

“Boxers gotta stay on cause I aint going to jail for fucking public nudity,” Brendon clarified before the game started. Right before Brendon spun to start the round a certain ice-cream-guy-Pete slid into the middle of the circle breaking in between Tyler and Dallon getting grass stains and dirt all over his side. 

“The Wentz has arrived,” He announced, “With the Stump in tow.”

Sure enough when josh looked back he saw an unimpressed Patrick looked at Pete with a skeptical expression. “The Stump, Pete really? That sounded like a good idea?”

Pete shrugged and the two sat down in the circle and Brendon spun. He landed on Dallon who stuck out his tongue and waved him over and wow that lasted an awful lot longer than any other spin the bottle kiss Josh had ever witnessed. Dallon landed on Pete who happily took off a shoe and smirked at Dallon who did look mildly disappointed. Pete landed on Josh who pulled his shirt off. Tyler watched him as he pulled off his shirt, and he made sure to accidentally flex while tossing his shirt to the side. Sure he -could- have lost a shoe or something instead but with it was worth the cold just to have Tyler glancing not so slyly at him from beside him. 

Josh landed on Patrick and they shared a quick peck. Josh didn’t pay a lot of attention until Spencer landed on Tyler who took the kiss. Josh did expect Tyler to follow Josh’s quick peck but felt a building jealousy at the 4 second kiss that he definitely didn’t time. Tyler spun and landed on Josh and he watched as his eyes lit up and Tyler started moving towards Josh before put up a hand and said, “Nope, I’ll just take this off,” And he pulled off his hat and set it beside him.

The gaping shock on Tyler’s face left Josh feeling very satisfied with his work and he glanced over at Brendon who also look surprised and he felt proud of himself. He spun onto Dallon who took off his coat off and the game continued. Tyler was moping beside him and when nobody was looking Josh gave him an apology kiss on his cheek which seemed to brighten him up a bit.

A few rounds later and more people had joined the circle so Josh used that as an excuse to shuffle closer to Tyler, pressing his naked torso right against Tyler’s clothed one. 

“Don’t worry,” He whispered, “We can make up for it later,” Josh smiled and winked at Tyler when he reared his head around to look at Josh. He smiled back, and Josh got a little bit worried that Tyler had another plan. 

“Josh and I gotta go,” Tyler announced and stood, holding his hand out for Josh to take so he did and then Tyler was dragging him back inside. Things had wound down a bit and there was more socializing than dancing happening. 

“My room,” Tyler explained as he pulled Josh after him down the hallway and Josh’s eyes widened in anticipation, looks like Tyler lost. 

Tyler closed the door behind him then rummaged through his drawer to pull out two nintendo DS’s and with a knowing smirk handed one Josh, “You up for some online multiplayer mario kart?”

Josh tried not to let his disappointment show and just nodded and took the pink one from Tyler who kept the blue one. “You have two DS’s?” 

“Frick yeah I do.” Tyler nodded and then started to pull his shirt off, “Um, that okay?”

Josh nodded enthusiastically, “Oh yeah, uh, totally. I mean,” He gestured at his own topless chest. He had only caught glances of the tattoos on Tyler’s chest before but now he took his chance and gave them a good look, he looked back up at Tyler to see him blushing. “Sick tattoos.” He said.

“Thanks,” Tyler let out a nervous breath, clearly not as comfortable with himself and Josh so he did him a favour and turned their attention back to the game. 

They played mario kart until they’d completed every cup and then they went onto that stupid balloon mode and things started getting even more competitive. They were leaning against eachother and the wall of Tyler’s room and every now and then one of them would let out a shout of frustration when their balloons got popped. 

At one point Josh died and was just watching as Tyler finished the round, tongue out and eyes squinted in focus and he felt a wave of fondness for the boy beside him and when Tyler won the round Josh pressed his lips against Tyler’s in celebration and then they went onto the final round. 

Tyler won overall and Josh wasn’t even surprised. “What’s my prize?” Tyler asked, eyes alight but narrowed at Josh. 

“Hmmm,” Josh considered it for awhile and had to take a second to build up the courage to say, “What about I blow you, hmm?” He swung himself over Tyler’s lap so their chests were almost touching. 

Tyler’s face showed one of shock and for just a moment Josh worried he had been too bold and overstepped his boundaries but then Tyler groaned, actually groaned and said, “God, yes, Josh, please.” 

Josh grinned wickedly and kissed Tyler before pulling him to the edge of the bed and sinking down in front of him on the floor. He started at Tyler’s collarbone slowly kissing his way down Tyler’s torso before stopping at his waistband and moving to the side to suck a hickey onto his hip as his hands ran up and down Tyler’s thighs whose own hands were fisted in the sheets beside him. 

“Can I?” Josh asked, fingers lingering over the button on Tyler’s jeans. He nodded quickly and helped Josh wiggle him out of his pants leaving him in just his boxers which Josh didn’t let him pull down; instead he ran two fingers up Tyler’s hard length over the fabric. He brought his face down and ran his nose beside Tyler’s dick then he pulled down Tyler’s boxers and repeated the action, practically nuzzling his face against Tyler and getting precome on his cheek. He just wiped it off with one finger then popped the finger into his mouth and moaned dramatically around it. 

Tyler groaned and ran his fingers through Josh’s hair before grabbing on and looking at Josh questioning him. Josh nodded eagerly, “Pull if you want,” He said before going all in and wrapping his mouth around Tyler’s dick and sinking down around him until he gagged then he wrapped a hand around what his mouth couldn’t reach. And he sucked. Tyler let out a sharp exhale and pulled Josh down further by his hair then pulled him off. 

“I-is that okay?” Tyler breathed.

“Hell yeah, please.” Josh responded and with Tyler’s guidance built up a rhythm up and down around his dick. He added every trick he knew with his tongue and hummed and moaned around Tyler’s dick as he used his face for his own pleasure. On one particularly rough pull Josh felt tears spring to his eyes as he gagged around Tyler’s dick. Tyler was getting faster and more desperate and Josh just did his best to relax his throat and keep his teeth covered as Tyler thrust into his mouth. He couldn’t make out what Tyler was saying but just his voice was turning him on. He made sure Tyler was watching him as he stuck his hand down his pants and gave his own dick one stroke before folding his hands behind his back forcing himself to go untouched. 

“Oh wow, Josh, yeah that’s right,” Tyler panted, “Don’t touch yourself.” 

And just that order caused another wave of lust to roll over Josh’s body and right into his leaking dick. He still had his shorts and boxers on but a wet spot was forming on the front.

“So close, Josh, just like that,” he groaned long and loud, “Gonna-gonna,” Tyler groaned and started to pull out but Josh followed his hips with his mouth and sucked long and hard and Tyler couldn’t hold back, he thrust forward, hips spasming as he came down Josh’s throat. Josh almost fell over, without his hands to keep him balanced but Tyler’s hand in his hair held him steady, the pain from his hair being pulled just turned him on more. He swallowed all of Tyler’s release and then sat back his heels gasping in breaths. 

Tyler fell onto his back after cumming and breathed heavily staring at the ceiling and Josh was just starting think he’d have to take initiative here but then Tyler sat up pulled him up onto the bed and laid him down on his back. He straddled Josh’s stomach and kissed him hard. He forced his tongue into Josh’s mouth and scratched his fingernails down Josh’s side at the same time and the onslaught of pain and pleasure set his nerves alight. 

When Tyler pulled back to breath Josh took the opportunity to start begging, “Please, Tyler, please touch me, need you so bad.” 

Tyler grinned and used both his hands to arrange Josh’s own above his head then held them there with his left hand as he trailed his right down Josh’s face and then his torso before resting the heel of his palm over Josh’s clothed erection and then grinding it down. 

Josh saw starts and let out a long and deep moan as he thrust up into Tyler’s hand and tugged helplessly at his restrained hands. “Is this okay?” Tyler asked and waited until Josh moaned out a yes before he pulled down Josh’s shorts and boxers at the same time. He held his free hand up to Josh’s mouth and said, “Lick.”

Josh eagerly obeyed, soaking Tyler’s hand in saliva until the other boy pulled his hand down again and wrapped it around Josh’s throbbing dick and started up a slow pace. Josh bucked up into his hands and he stopped completely. “Stay still.” He growled and Josh nodded obediently. 

He resumed his tortuously slow pace for a minute then started to speed up until Josh felt himself on the edge. “Come on, Josh, cum for me.” Tyler whispered into Josh’s ear then started sucking on and biting at the skin right behind Josh’s ear and that’s all it took for Josh to feel his entire body tighten up as fell over the edge and released all over his and Tyler’s chests. He collapsed backwards into the sheets with his eyes shut, breathing hard and even though Tyler let go of his hands he left them stretched out above his head. 

“Aww man Josh that was so frickin good,” Tyler mumbled into Josh’s shoulder. “We gotta clean up.”

“Don’t wanna,” Josh huffed and Tyler nodded in agreement. They laid there for another minute before Tyler sat up.

“We’re getting gross, c’mon.” He whined and pulled at Josh’s bicep. 

“How’re we gonna get to the bathroom, the house is full of people?” Josh questioned.

“Right.” Tyler thought about it for a moment before standing up, “You stay here, I’ll be right back.” Josh watched as Tyler wiped off his own stomach with his discarded shirt and then pulled on sweatpants and a different shirt real quick before ducking out of the room, closing the door behind him. He was back right away with a damp washcloth in hand. He pulled off the shirt and wiped himself off again before cleaning off Josh and passing him his underwear. He slipped it back on and Tyler did the same, changing once again so he was wearing the same thing as Josh and then he pulled them both under the blankets to curl up together.

“Can I be the little spoon?” Tyler whispered and Josh grinned.

“You’re so freaking adorable,” Josh kissed his nose and rearranged them so he was curled around Tyler, “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep wondering if I'm like contradicting myself with stuff I write but whatever I just hope not. Also I've never written any kind of smut before so I hope this isn't seriously awful please let me know what you think! Cause if it isn't good I'll just not in the future haha thx


	11. I probably should have stayed inside my house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy this was a long time coming

When Tyler woke up he felt better rested than he had in a long time; the feeling of Josh pressed against him from behind, the boys arms wrapped around his waist and his face pressed into Tyler’s hair he felt irrevocably safe. He felt like nothing in the world could hurt him because he had Josh wrapped around him to protect him. He also felt an overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety at what was to happen next. What if Josh had just wanted to fuck and then move on? What if he really had no interest in any kind of relationship at all? 

“Mmm, you up Tyler?” Josh mumbled from behind Tyler who did think about pretending to be asleep just to avoid the morning after conversation that was sure to ensue but decided against it.

“Yeah,” He whispered back then rolled over so he was face to face with Josh. Both boys smiled at each other and Josh kissed Tyler quickly on the nose before he sat up and stretched, causing a popping noise to come from his back. 

“I’ll be right back,” Josh said before sliding out of the bed. He grabbed his backpack and ducked out of the room. While he was gone Tyler took the opportunity to take a number of deep breaths and he pulled at his hair until he felt the nausea and tightness in his chest back off. Josh had seemed normal, at least, Tyler assured himself. 

“I hope it’s okay I took a shower,” Josh said while he walked back into Tyler’s bedroom, “I kinda needed one you know?” 

Tyler looked up and nodded slowly but couldn’t help but notice something that he just had to mention. “Jooosh, you’re still soaking wet!” 

Josh looked down at himself and then back up to Tyler, he spoke slowly as if confused, “No I’m definitely not.” 

“Look at your shirt! It’s almost all damp and your hair is literally dripping,” Tyler said skeptically. 

Josh just shrugged and sat down on the bed, “Oh well.”

“You’re gonna get the bed wet,” Tyler whined but then just huffed and got off the bed, “If you’re not dry when I finish my shower I’m using my hair dryer to dry you.” he promised, his face dead serious. 

“You have a hair dryer?” Josh smiled a little bit, “That’s adorable.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, “I need to get like,” He fluffed his hair with his fingers, “I need to get a floof somehow.” 

“Sure, sure,” Josh laughed and shook his head, “Also, Tyler?”  
Tyler looked up and nodded, “Yeah?”

“Can I like go ahead and make some coffee while you shower?” 

“Of course,” Tyler kept a straight face until he reached the bathroom then his face split into a giant grin. His worries from before had mostly dissipated, and any he still held weren’t overwhelming at the moment. He couldn’t wait to be clean and drinking coffee with Josh. He could wait for the after party clean up and the predictably non stop goading from Brendon but oh well, Tyler decided, it would be worth it. 

He showered quickly and then blow dried his hair, putting just a little bit of product in it to keep it fluffy but controlled. He walked back across the hallway and into his room where he hung up his towel and dressed himself in a black zip up hoodie over one of his red lifeguard tshirts and a pair of tight black shorts. He shoved on some sock and a pair of vans and then stopped to inspect himself in the full length mirror on his closet door. He pulled at the front of his hoodie so it would sit over him nicer and then pulled at his hair a bit more before finally deciding that he was as good as he was going to get.

“Holy crap,” Tyler winced when he stepped into the living room to find it an absolute disaster. 

“Mhmm,” Josh nodded in agreement, he was seated at a bar stool, one leg crossed over the other, “Did you see the hole in the wall?”

“What?” Tyler’s eyes snapped to where Josh was pointing at the wall beside the fridge in the kitchen area. “Oh no, aw man,” He shut his eyes and shook his head. “Brendon’s dead I swear.”

Josh smiled a little bit, his eyes crinkling up, “Just drink your coffee, don’t worry about damage or anything, it’ll be all good in the end,” He said and Tyler was glad his tone didn’t sound condescending but rather it was encouraging and soothing. 

Tyler huffed and nodded then sat down on the stool next to Josh and smiled halfheartedly, he was still worried about the hole in the wall, and the general mess all around the house, he didn’t even want to see the backyard. But Josh placed a hand on Tyler’s knee and gave it a squeeze and Tyler decided that it would be okay, as Josh said, in the end. 

“I made your coffee the same way you got it from starbucks, like with two cream, I hope that’s okay?” Josh seemed nervous now, and so Tyler took his turn in comforting by taking a sip of the coffee then humming in contentment.

“It’s perfect, Jish, thank you. Almost makes up for the hole in the wall.” Tyler joked.

Josh smiled and drank his own coffee with his free hand, leaving the other one resting on Tyler’s knee. “You can tell off Brendon when he wakes up.”

“I’m gonna yell at him,” Tyler said firmly, “With, with aggression.”

Josh let out a loud laugh and Tyler glared at him, “Excuse you, mister Dun, I am intimidating.”

“You are about as intimidating as long grass.”

“You’re afraid of long grass?” Tyler asked skeptically but with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Josh sucked in a breath and looked towards the roof before looking back and shaking his head, “Not remotely.” 

They continued with their casual banter until their coffee’s ran empty then they moved to the couch and sat next to each other, Josh’s arm wrapped around Tyler’s shoulder and rubbing little circles on his bicep. A tv show about border crossing problems was playing on the tv, although Tyler couldn’t say he was paying any attention. 

Tyler wasn’t at all surprised when Brendon slumped into the kitchen, wearing just sweat pants and his hair standing in all directions. He was a little more shocked when he saw Dallon follow him a minute later in the same state of undress. His eyebrows shot up, though, when Spencer followed right behind Dallon, although he was wearing a shirt. A quick glance at Josh showed he was also quite surprised. 

“Um,” Tyler cleared his throat, “There’s a hole in the wall.” 

“Good morning to you too,” Brendon spat before throwing a couple of pills in his mouth and swallowing them down then he passed the pill bottle to Dallon who followed suit. 

“Hey,” Tyler narrowed his eyes at Brendon, “I’ll say good morning when you fix the wall.” 

“The walllll,” Brendon droned, “Will be,” He paused and draped himself on the counter, so he was out of view from where Tyler was sitting, hidden behind the island, “Just fine,” He finished.

Dallon disagreed, saying, “Actually, Bren, there’s a big hole right through the drywall, like probably a foot wide.” 

“Yeah,” Spencer agreed, “I wonder who did that.” 

“Shut up,” Brendon grumbled. 

Josh snickered and Tyler pecked him on the cheek before standing up and pulling himself out of Josh’s arms. Seeing the other boys pout Tyler held a hand out and helped pull Josh to his feet so he could follow Tyler over to the kitchen. Tyler walked up so he was standing beside Brendon. Brendon who had his eyes shut and his mouth open, face pressed against the counter holding up most of his body so he didn’t just slide to the ground. Tyler shook his head at Brendon and poked his cheek with his pointer finger, “Hey Beebo.”

“Shuddup Tyler m’sleeping.” Brendon groaned out, eyes opening and narrowing menacingly.

“You shut up.” Tyler countered and poked him again, pulling his finger back quickly when Brendon tried to bite it. 

Brendon groaned, yet again, and stood himself up again, one hand going to his head right away, “Just cause you’re all bright eyed and bushy tailed doesn’t mean we all are.” 

“I second that!” Dallon agreed from where he had laid down on the couch. “And Spencer fell asleep on the floor over here so I think he takes our side.”

Josh leaned back so he could see the couch and sure enough Spencer had his head leaning against the couch and looked out like a light. “Damn that was fast.”

“We just didn’t drink our body weight in alcohol, Brendon, so sorry but I’ve got no sympathy for you.” Tyler shrugged, “But I will help with the cleanup if you can get moving in the next hour.”

Brendon hesitated, giving his answer thought before nodding to agree, “Okay deal. One hour.”

Tyler nodded and looked at Josh, “Should we check out the damage out back?” 

Josh considered it, tilting his head to the side then nodded, “Might as well.” And they went to the glass sliding door that led to the backyard. Tyler had been right in referring to the state of the backyard as damage, as it looked like a natural disaster had hit it. 

“Well at least the bottle deposit will line my bank account for years,” Tyler sighed, kicked gently at an empty bottle causing it to fall over onto it’s side with a quiet noise when it hit the concrete. 

“Yeah no kidding,” Josh scoffed, “I think someone tried setting your grass on fire.” He pointed to a patch in the grass that was definitely burnt, it was a spot about three feet across. 

Tyler sighed and shook his head, “I swear it doesn’t usually get this crazy.”

“That’s true,” Brendons voice interjected from the doorway behind the other two boys, he was leaning against the doorframe. “I’m really sorry, Tyler, some friends from work like brought some of their own friends and it got out of hand after I was drunk.”

Tyler shrugged, not turning around to look at Brendon, “It’s cool like whatever.” 

“You and Josh can take off, Dallon, Spence and I are gonna clean up.” Brendon said.

Tyler shook his head, “No it’s okay, I’ll help.”

“Me too!” Josh piped in but Brendon wasn’t hearing it.

“No seriously,” Brendon insisted, “You guys go to the mall or something and when you get back it’ll be good as new.”

Tyler looked like he was going to argue but then swept his eyes over the mess in the backyard and nodded, “Yeah okay, we’ll do that. Josh?”

“Hmm? Yeah sure.” Josh smiled encouragingly and with that they were leaving, saying quick goodbyes to Dallon in the living room. Out front was blessedly normal, clean and proper, much to Tyler’s relief. 

“Have you been to the mall like a ten minute drive from here?” Tyler asked as they walked down the walkway towards the street, when Josh shook his head, Tyler continued. “Okay so we should take the bus cause it’s a long walk, but it’s so sick! Like they have all the good stores there no joke.”

Josh grinned and nodded, “Man I’m so stoked.” They stopped at the bus stop and only had to wait two minutes before the pulled up and they stepped on. Josh panicked for a second because he didn’t have any fair but Tyler told him everything would be fine and just pulled out a big book of tickets from his wallet, and gave two to the bus driver who in return gave them two transfers. 

They sat down together in the back and spent the bus ride trying to get a good selfie for Tyler’s instagram because he insisted he needed to update it. Despite their best efforts, and Josh’s encouragement that every picture looked good, Tyler ended up deciding to just try again later since they couldn’t procure one to meet his high standards. 

They got off the bus and walked the couple of minutes towards the mall. It was a pretty small mall, but only because it didn’t have any of those annoying expensive stores no one actually shopped in. The whole mall was quite obviously aimed towards youth and young adults, with a surplus of skater stores and both a Hot Topic and a Spencers. Even the food court was mostly cheap fast food places.

“This mall is no joke the best mall in like, the entire world.” Tyler promises, his face set and serious, “You’ll probably spend like all your money.”

Josh laughed, “Well maybe I can get a job here and then I can make money just to spend it?” 

“If you work here, I will definitely visit you like everyday and bug the heck out of you.”

“I’d be okay with that,” Josh smiled and pecked Tyler on the temple of his head, “In fact, please do.” 

Tyler blushed, face burning bright red and he glanced around, hoping no one had seen that. Public displays of affection always got him nervous but he found that it was worth it just for the kiss from Josh. 

“So,” Josh said, “What's your favourite store, where are we starting?”

Tyler gave his answer some thought. It wasn't necessarily a matter of his favourite store but what store would impress Josh most. “Boathouse?” He spoke slowly and ended the name with a questioning lilt so he could gauge Josh’s reaction. 

Josh nodded approvingly, “Good choice for sure, let’s go check it out!” He ran the twenty feet over to the mall map and started typing in 'boathouse’ so it could map him there. 

“Josh,” Tyler laughed after walking to catch up, “I know where it is already.”

“And now so do I!”

Tyler sighed and shook his head but watched Josh fondly and the boy grabbed his arm and started pulling him around the corner towards the store. He did wonder how the hell Josh had so much energy, like yeah Tyler felt well rested but crap he was tired. Not that that made sense even to him, but it wasn't a sleepy tired so maybe it wasn’t that Josh had too much energy, instead Tyler wondered but maybe he just didn’t have enough. 

They got to boathouse in no time and both wandered around the store. Tyler wasn’t really paying attention to what was for sale but watched Josh fondly instead. He liked the way Josh would grab almost every shirt on a rack and hold it in front of him to let Tyler critique. They complained to each other about how expensive the name brand clothes were and then went right to the sale rack. Tyler pulled out a thick yellow hoodie and, as he always did when shopping, checked the price tag before even seeing what the size was. He was pleased to see it was only $18. He commented on how well priced it was to Josh.

Josh responded, “Well yeah, it’s ridiculously hot outside, of course the hoodie is on sale.”

“Do you like it?” Tyler asked, now he was the one holding the garment up to his body.

“Totally, man, the colour looks good on you it like, compliments your skin tone, ya know?” Josh answered, nodding fervently to show his point.

“It’s not weird to like, buy a hoodie in july in cali, right?” Tyler asked, suddenly worried that he was making a fool of himself. Without even giving Josh a chance to answer he shook his head and hung the hoodie back up, “Nah, nevermind, it totally is.”

“Dude,” Josh said and grabbed the hoodie off the rack himself, “It’s totally not weird at all like there are still chilly nights and this is such a good price.” He continued rambling, “And in the winter it’ll be cold and you’ll need a hoodie but they’ll all be like a hundred dollars so it’s a financially responsible decision or something.” Josh smiled and held the hoodie out to Tyler.

Tyler blushed a bit and nodded, “Yeah,” He said, then “Yeah,” again but with more confidence, “Buying this is just me being a responsible young adult, thinking ahead and all that.” 

“Exactly!” Josh exclaimed.

“Okay, you’ve inspired me, I’m gonna buy it. Anything else you wanna look at here?” 

Josh shook his head, “Nope, I’m all sorted lets just buy your hoodie. Then can we please get food?”

Tyler smiled crookedly and nodded, chewing on his lip as he walked up to the counter. He felt an annoying twist of giddiness buying the hoodie, just because Josh said the colour looked good on him. He couldn’t wait until the first time he could wear it around Josh, and that thought is what had him biting his cheek nervously, wondering just what he was getting into here. 

He had to remind himself, he wasn’t dating Josh or anything, they had fucked, and that’s it. The thought made him sad but Tyler was very good at masking his sadness so he just forced his lips up into a casual grin as he tapped his debit card to pay for the hoodie. He kept his tone light as he explained to Josh why they should eat at taco bell instead of a&w despite the swirling thoughts inside his head.

“But like rootbeer floats,” Josh said seriously.

“But like,” Tyler imitated him, “Baja blast slushies.”

“Ohhh man, that’s a compelling argument. It really is.” Josh agreed, his lips twisted up in thought. “Yeah definitely taco bell, I want a baja blast now.”

Tyler cheered and punched his fist up in the air dramatically, “Taco bell has conquered yet again!”

“Yo dude just be glad we live somewhere with baja blast, could you imagine life with taco bell but no baja blast?”

Tyler shook his head, “Sounds like hell to me.”

“As close to it as it gets on earth at least, for sure.” Josh agreed. They discussed the woes of living in Canada where baja blast was scarce and the air ran cold as they navigated the food court all the way to the back where the taco bell was.They ordered and Josh insisted on paying for Tyler’s, despite Tyler insisting he really could.

“It’s okay, promise, I wanna pay.” Josh insisted sincerely and Tyler sighed in defeat and let Josh pay. He very purposefully ignored the excited thump his heart gave as Josh handed him his food which Josh had paid for and reminded himself that friends bought each-others food all the time. He really shouldn’t be getting ahead of himself here, but even just watching Josh’s grin as he ate his food made that very difficult indeed.

Despite having been the one to suggest taco bell in the first place, Tyler wasn’t feeling particularly hungry and just got himself tator tots to nibble at, offering Josh some when the other boy finished his tacos. When they both finished eating they went back to shopping. Josh insisted on stopping in hot topic where he bought a band tanktop for some rock band Tyler hadn’t heard of and Tyler bought two different kinds of white shoelaces so he could decide which ones looked best with his vans at home.

By three in the afternoon Tyler felt wiped, he let Josh head into HMV on his own while he leaned into the back of the bench he sat on while he waited. He held both his bags close to his chest and let his eyes flutter shut. He wasn’t asleep, not by a long shot, but he was zoning out. He didn’t notice when someone sat next to him and while he distantly heard the hum of Josh speaking to him but he didn’t register the words. It wasn’t until he felt Josh lay his hand on his shoulder that he cracked his eyes open and looked at Josh questionably.

“You okay, Ty?” Josh asked.

Tyler nodded hoping his face portrayed what he was saying, “Yeh, I was just drifting off I guess.” 

“Oh,” Josh nodded, “Well I’m done here if ya wanna head back? You can, uh, hit the hay early.”

Tyler smiled and nodded, standing up with a stretch, “Sounds like a great plan to me.” 

Together they walked out of the mall and waited for the bus, the ride was uneventful and then they were at the front door of Tyler’s house and that’s when things got awkward. 

“I’m, uh, just-” Tyler tugged at his hair, “Sorry, I’m just gonna y’know take a nap b’fore dinner.”

Josh nodded perhaps a bit too enthusiastically to look natural, “Oh yeah, totally! Well I had fun today.”

Tyler smiled softly, “Yeah me too, uh thanks. For like hanging out I mean.”

Josh nodded and then they were holding eye contact, neither one of them really knowing what they were supposed to do next but then Josh broke the tension by nodding again and saying, “Well, um, have a good night, Tyler, text me, yeah?”

Tyler nodded back, “Yeah, of course. You too.” 

Josh nodded, yet again, and backed down the walkway for a few steps before saying, “See ya,” and then he turned around and walked down the street. 

“See ya,” Tyler replied, so quietly he didn’t think Josh would hear him, and based on the lack of reaction from Josh’s retreating form he figured he must not have. He sucked in a deep breath then let himself inside. The door was already unlocked and when he looked around he was happy to see that the house looked livable again. Brendon was slumped along the couch, his legs resting over Dallons lap. Brendon’s eyes stayed shut even after Tyler shut the door behind him. Dallon, however turned his head towards him and offered a little wave of hello. 

“Is he sleeping?” Tyler whispered, walking closer to the couch in the living room.

“Nope,” Brendon responded, popping the ‘p’. Dallon shrugged and nodded not needing to answer Tyler’s question anymore. Brendon opened his eyes, looking at Tyler then he narrowed his eyes, “Tyler.” He said condescendingly, “Tyler, Tyler, Tyler.” He shook his head.

Tyler narrowed his eyes in response, Brendons tone setting him on edge, “What?” 

“Where art thou lover, hmm?” 

“Oh,” Tyler shrugged passively, “He went home.” 

“Dude it’s only like four.” Brendon scoffed. 

Tyler bit his lip, now he felt bad for sending Josh on his way so early. Maybe he should have invited him to stay for dinner? Oh man maybe that’s why things got so weird outside, maybe he offended Josh somehow.

Dallon elbowed Brendon on his thigh, and Brendon added, “Sorry, Ty, I’m just kidding around like you were out all day and you look pretty worn out.”

“No, no, it’s all good, uhhh, I’m just gonna take a nap.” Tyler smiled nervously as he let out a short breath and then rushed himself to his room. He was already berating himself on how weird he was acting like poor Brendon out there is just trying to chill with a friend and then of course his weird roommate shows up and why couldn’t he just act like a normal human being and say hi then move along. 

He groaned and threw himself on the bed, burying his face into his pillow. He felt frustrated with himself and he had the too familiar feeling of not fitting in his skin, like he was going to explode if he didn’t move but moving was too much work, it didn’t seem worth it. He’d rather just explode, but this pent up feeling was terrible and he hated it. Hated it hated it hated it. It made him want to just scream.

What he wanted to do was go to work. He wanted to go sit in the sun atop his tower and watch over his part of the beach and ocean for people who got themselves in trouble. He rolled over roughly and stared at the roof with frustrated tears welling in his eyes, he just hated feeling so useless. The one thing he contributed to the world was forbidden and why? Because he was too childish to deal with himself properly? And he knew it was more than that, but he was so fed up with being denied things because of something he couldn’t see. Something he knew was real, but god it didn’t feel like it. 

He was only feeling so shitty because he couldn’t be useful but that wasn’t good enough for the people who ran the organization he worked for, it was like a terrible loop he was stuck in. And while logically he understood their decision and the whole situation, he wasn’t feeling particularly logical just then. It only took a couple minutes before he really couldn’t sit still so he got up and paced his room anxiously, trying to think of how he was going to get his job back, thinking about what the hell he was doing with Josh, and planning his apology to Brendon for being so weird. 

Oh! He just remembered he’d promised to text Josh, another thing he’d not done that he should have.

SENT: Josh  
hi i hope you made it home ok?

RECEIVED: Josh  
I sure did! The mall was fun 2day what u doing tmr?

Tyler read Josh’s message but didn’t answer just yet. Technically he wasn’t doing anything the next day but he had a desire to keep it that way as he was pretty sure he’d regret making plans if he did. 

SENT: Josh  
sorry but i’ll prob be busy doing some errands tomorrow but if i finish early i’ll let you know ?

RECEIVED: Josh  
Okay! I hope you get them done quick and if u want a hand I’ll be happy to help :))))

Tyler felt crappy for lying to Josh because while there were certainly he could and even should do, the tasks would in no way take all day. He wanted to text back, continue the conversation but using his phone while feeling how he did just wasn’t possible. He couldn’t focus. Texting Josh had, unfortunately, not helped how restless he was feeling and even pacing wasn't really helping. He made a split second decision to shower, needing to relax and besides he felt like he could feel the germs crawling over him. Not that he was particular about germs or anything but he felt too wound up at that moment to really care if he made sense to himself.

He moved quickly getting from his room to the bathroom, not wanting to have to talk to Brendon. He was feeling irritable and he knew he’d be pissy at Brendon even if the other boy hadn’t done anything to deserve it. He locked the bathroom door behind him and undressed while the water warmed up. As soon as he got into the shower he already started to feel better as though the warm water washed away his irritation and tension itself. He knew how this worked though, he always got himself worked up and then came the crash and he never knew which he hated more.

Sure enough, only a few minutes into his shower his eyes filled with tears ago and he sat himself down in the water, letting the streams hit his face. He idly noticed how dramatic he was being but no one could see him so he had no one to pretend for so he let himself wallow in his misery. It wasn’t until the water ran cold that he unfolded his stiff limbs and shut off the water. With a deep sigh he dried himself off and pulled on the pajama pants he’d brought into the bathroom with him. He examined himself in the mirror for a few minutes, pulling at the skin under his eyes, displeased with how dark they were. His eyes were swollen too, and his nose was red. 

He checked for Brendon before dodging back into his room where he pulled his shopping bag off the floor and then pulled on his new hoodie, appreciating how soft the inside was. Tonight was definitely a soft hoodie kind of night, he decided. He’d relaxed enough to be able to use his phone again and replied to Josh’s text simply asking Josh how his night was going. Then he pulled up his instagram and scrolled through his explore to watch dumb videos and snort at memes. Tyler didn’t even notice how much time had passed before it was past midnight and he heard a knock on his door.

“Hmmcm’in,” Tyler slurred as he sent out his reply to Josh. They were joking about Californian stereotypes and how Josh mixed into them.

“Hey Ty-guy, I’m heading to bed I just wanted to check you’re doing good first,” Brendon said after opening the door a bit.

Brendons concern used to bug Tyler at times, the checking in and such, but Brendon had good instincts and Tyler had realized he only got irritated because whenever Brendon was worried he was worried with good reason. He appreciated it now. 

“Mhmm,” Tyler looked up from his phone and nodded, “I’m good now.”

Brendon nodded, “Okay well you know where I am if you need me.” 

“Thanks Bren,” Tyler smiled gratefully and kept it there until Brendon shut the door. Then he sent a goodnight text to Josh and rolled over so he was pressed against the wall and curled up under his pile of blankets to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't believe how long it's been since I updated I'm so sorry I didn't even notice, my grasp on time has been vague lately and it's hard to find the energy to even get up in the morning for work or anything nevermind like stuff I like doing idk but I promise I'm not abandoning this story and I definitely wont give it up it just might be slow going until I get my shit together.
> 
> Thx for your patience and I'm gonna try to post updates on my tumblr (outofmylaneboy) if you're interested. My personal tumblr is kiskillingit so you can follow me there too if you wanna
> 
> Also I'm not from the US and the mall and every other place I mention isn't a legit place in cali im just making it up I've only been to California twice.


	12. Just sit in silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo it's been months since i updated and i am so sorry. i had this chapter nearly finished a month+ ago but then had a bad night and deleted the whole thing and it's taken awhile to re-write. I hope the time between updates hasn't scared you all off :/
> 
> (warning for pointless fluff and a little smut as an excuse for more fluff)

Tyler woke with a start when he heard someone thumping on his bedroom door. The thumping stopped and he heard Brendon call in, “Tyler? I’m going grocery shopping, want to come with?”

Tyler didn’t respond, still trying to gauge how he was feeling and well he was trying to wake up too. 

More thumping on the door, “Tyler?”

He didn’t feel like actually speaking so he forced himself out of his bed and pulled open the door, stopping the obnoxious thumping. 

“Tyler!” Brendon beamed, “Grocery shopping?”

Tyler chewed on his lip then nodded, “Give-” Oh god that croaky morning voice. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Give me a minute, just woke up.”

“You got it,” Brendon left him after that and Tyler ran his fingers through his hair then rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

He really really didn’t want to take off his new hoodie so he left it on and just threw on some clean olive green joggers. He scowled at himself in the mirror and pulled on a black ball cap, pulling it down enough that the brim kinda hid his eyes. He pulled on his shoes as he hopped out of the room, almost falling as he tied the laces. 

“Careful there, Ty-guy.”

“Whatever, dad.” Tyler scoffed and completely ignored the wink that Brendon offered. Like he didn’t even give Brendon the time of day to acknowledge the look he was receiving.

“As your father,” Brendon continued, “You should tell me every single detail about a couple nights ago. It’s, like, my right to know.”

“You’re gross. Lets go.” Tyler huffed, ignoring Brendons whining.

Seated in the car, Brendon driving, he brought it up again. “Okay so as your bestest friend in the entire world,” He paused to watch Tyler roll his eyes, “Tell me what happened with you and joshie-boy.”

“No.”

“I’ll buy you red bull.”

“No.”

“Like a lot of red bull. And I’ll tell you about me and Spence and Dallon’s night.”

“Ew and no.”

“Tylerrrrrrr,” Brendon pouted and tried to give Tyler puppy dog eyes.

“Why do you even want to know?” Tyler demanded.

“I’m your best friend! And honestly, Tyler, when have I not wanted to know everything about something?”

“True.” Tyler grinned, “A four pack of red bull and a bag of skittles.” He bit his lip.

“You are expensive. Usually you gossip for free.” Brendon started the car and whined about Tyler being so stubborn. 

“Mhmm but usually I gossip about other people not about me.”

“Good point,” Brendon nodded, “Okay deal. Now spill.”

Tyler relaxed back into his seat and shrugged, “Not a lot to tell, really. We were, uh, like teasing each other all night at the party-”

Brendon interrupted with a sarcastic, “No shit.”

“Shhhhh,” Tyler hushed him, “Anyways then we like went back to my room and played mario kart on my DS’s-”

Brendon cut in again, “OH MY FUCKING GOD TYLER JOSEPH.”

Tyler jumped at his yelling, “Christ Brendon don’t scare me like that!”

“YOU,” He pulled into the parking spot at the grocery store and turned towards Tyler, “You had a hot, horny boy who is like in love with you, in your bedroom, and you pull out fucking childrens games?!”

“Uhhhh,” Tyler started giggling, “It wasn’t like that at the time, like it worked, okay?”

“You are hopeless I swear to God.” Brendon facepalmed.

“No! I’m not done yet you hater.” Tyler flicked Brendon on the forehead, “So anyways, I won, of course-”

“Congratulations, loser.”

“Shut up, Brendon! I can end the story here if you want geez.”

“Nononono,” Brendon shook his head, “I wont buy you the skittles if you stop now.”

“Okay okay,” Tyler took a deep breath and then continued, “So I won and was all like “what’s my prize”,” Tyler pauses to blush, thinking about what Josh had replied with, “And he, uh, like offered to uh,” He rubbed his face with embarrassment, “Right. So he offered to like,” He looked at Brendon and does the universal ‘blow job’ action with pumping his fist twice and sticking his tongue in his cheek.

Brendon gets the biggest shit eating grin, “OH my god Tyler Joseph, Tiger Hoseph, you said yes, right? You better have. If you turned him down I will KILL you myself.”

Tyler blushed furiously again and nodded, “And yeah that’s kinda it. I, uh, you know. Finished him off and we like went to sleep.”

Brendon reached over the center console to give Tyler a weird hug/pat on the back thing, “Congratulations, my child, you have,” He pumped his fist and jumped out of the score, yelling to the skies, “SCORED!”

“You’re embarrassing.” Tyler groaned, climbing out his side of the car and shutting the door behind him. 

“And you have whored your story out for red bull so who’s the real loser here?” Brendon joked, shoving his shoulder into Tylers. Tyler just grinned and shoved his hands into his pockets, following just behind Brendon as they started their grocery shopping. When they passed the medical supplies isle, Brendon dragged him over to the condoms set up and asked, “What size are you?”

“Oh my gosh I’m leaving.” Tyler turned around and speed walked away, his cheeks tinged pink. 

“I forgot,” Brendon said when he caught up to Tyler, “That I already know.” He winked suggestively.

“I’m never talking to you again.” Tyler said seriously, “Ever.”

“Fine i guess I’ll just buy you sugar free red bull since there’s no one to tell me how much you hate it.”

Tyler scowled and glared at Brendon who just looked pleased as peas with himself. 

“Asshole. Buy the normal kind.” Tyler huffed and Brendon cheerfully obliged.

"I'm changing it to never, ever, shopping with you ever again," Tyler mumbled. 

They finished up their shopping, went home, and put away all the groceries. Tyler made lunch (macaroni and cheese), and then Brendon left for work. Tyler was actually feeling pretty good so he made good of his promise and shot a text off to Josh. 

SENT: Josh  
Ayyy I finished what I had to do want to come over ???

RECEIVED: Josh  
Heck yeah! Can I come over rn

SENT: Josh  
Yeep

It was nearly 3pm when Josh arrived and he was wearing a beaming grin when Tyler opened the door. The first thing he said was, “Wow! The sweater does look great on you!”

Tyler smiled back, “Well, uh thank you. It’s soft so I like it. Come on in.” He gestured into the house and then closed the door after Josh. They talked for awhile on what to do and ended up deciding on just watching netflix (some show called ‘Please like me’). For dinner they ordered chinese takeout then played some super smash bros till Brendon got home from work. 

They chatted for awhile then played some dutch blitz until midnight when Brendon offered to drive Josh home since said boy had mentioned needing to get home at some point that night so he didn’t piss off his aunt. 

Altogether Tyler felt good about the night. He was proud of himself for initiating things too. He fell asleep easily and slept well into the day. 

\--

The weekend came and Josh was staying from friday to sunday since Brendon worked and Josh’s aunt and uncle were gone so he was free to live it up without their protective watch. Tyler has just finished getting ready, shaving his scruff and changing his shirt (again) when Josh knocked on the door. Tyler, still in the bathroom playing with his hair, let Brendon answer the door before he stepped out and greeted Josh with a big grin. 

“Heyo Jish!”

“Hey Ty, what’s up? How are you?” Josh replied, scooting over on the couch to passively invite Tyler to sit next to him. It worked, cause Tyler did, sitting right next to him. 

“Nu’much how’bow you?” Tyler asked.

“You’re enunciation is outstanding,” Josh laughed and Tyler pecked him on the cheek in response [“I know”], “But yeah I’m good.”

Tyler hummed and nodded and shifted so he was more comfortable leaning up against Josh. “It’s weird. We’re like grown adults and yet I’m so excited for a weekend sleepover. I feel like I’m twelve again.” He spoke slowly, his eyes squinted, deep in thought.

“Huh,” Josh agreed, “You’re right. No regrets though I’m siked this’ll be so sick.”

“Sick as frick,” Tyler nodded as he agreed. “Wanna watch a movie?”

Josh agreed and they searched through netflix for awhile before settling on some sports movie Tyler insisted was good. It wasn’t a great movie, per se, but both boys enjoyed it. Or at least they enjoyed cuddling on the couch. 

“You’re adorable, you know?” Josh said, staring at Tyler with a small grin.

Tyler rolled his eyes from the tv over to make eye contact with Josh. “Says you, ya dork.” He craned his neck up to kiss Josh gently on the lips.

Josh responded with a hum and leaned down to kiss Tyler back and soon they were making out on the couch. At some point Josh shifted his weight around and Tyler gave in, twisting so he was laying on the couch with Josh on top of him. Josh moved a leg in between Tylers who bucked against his thigh and moaned. 

“Mm feels s’nice,” Tyler mumbled against Josh’s lips. Josh moved his mouth down to Tylers neck and when the other boy tilted his head back, exposing his neck further, he wasted no time in licking over his neck, pressing open mouthed kisses against where his neck met his collarbone. He nipped lightly at the skin right at th base of his neck and Tyler let out a breathy sigh at the feeling.

Josh ran his hand up the side of Tylers shirt, his palm spread across his ribcage as he arched up to press his lips against Tylers. The kiss was more pointed now than it was before, his tongue invading Tylers mouth and his teeth knocking against Tylers at first.

Tyler pushed himself up onto his elbows to help josh pull his shirt off after Josh discarded his own. The first thing Tyler did after that was push Josh forward and then over so Tyler was on top. He kitten kicked Josh's nipples until they were both pointed and erect then made his way down Josh's chest pressing gentle kisses and leaving little bites behind him. Finally he reached Josh's pants and looked up at him through his eyelashes, silently asking permission. 

Josh huffed and nodded then watched as Tyler ever so slowly unzipped his pants and pulled them down and off his legs. Josh had to bite his tongue to keep quiet when Tyler massaged his dick through his blue boxers.

“Feel good?” Tyler asked.

Josh ndoded frantically “Yeah, yeah it does.”

Tyler bit his bottom lip and tilted his head then did two things very quickly. 1. He whispered “Them let me hear how good it feels,”  
2\. He pulled down Josh's boxers and flattened his tongue, pulling it from the base of Josh's dick and then when he reached the top he tilted his head forward and swallowed him down, hollowing out his cheeks. 

Josh let out a long moan ending in a deep sigh as he felt himself get swallowed up by tight, wet, heat. Tyler looked gorgeous, lips wrapped around his dick, watching Josh's reactions through hooded eyes. He was trying to control himself but his hips stuttered up against his will but Tyler didn't seem to mind he just placed a forearm over Josh's lower stomach and hips, effectively holding him down. His free hand was massaging himself through his pants. Tyler was swirling his tongue around the slit when Josh grabbed him by the bicep and pulled him up into a kiss. Josh and taste himself on Tyler’s lips and dear god that’s hot. 

They were panting into eachothers mouths as Tyler shimmied out of his pants and pressed himself against Josh. They both moaned as Tyler spat on his hand and wrapped it around them both and starting tugging. Tyler moved his lips down to Joshs neck and starting sucking on the skin there, nibbling on the skin lightly then licking over the bruise left there. 

“Ah ah, Tyler, faster!” Josh groaned and tilted his head back, muscles flexing in pleasure. Tyler obliged and picked up the pace, twisting his wrist at the top of every pull. Tylers deft fingers and hot cock combined with his lips on his neck were too much for Josh and soon he felt the heat and tension building. Tyler could tell and he increased his efforts and nuzzled his face into Josh’s exposed neck, his panting breath against Josh’s skin.

“C’mon Josh, feels good right?”

“Yeh yeh, uhhhhh Tylertylertyler,” His abs tightened and he was cumming, his hips bucking up and pleasure rolling off him in waves. He wasted no time in batting away Tylers hand on their dicks and using his own cum to keep his strokes smooth as he took over bringing Tyler to completion. It didn’t take long, the sight of Josh cumming was enough to bring Tyler right to the edge, and Josh’s hand enough to bring him over. 

Soon Tyler collapsed on top of Josh, breathing heavily with his face still pressed into Josh’s neck. “Geeeeez Josh, wow.” Tyler said.

Josh chuckled, “I hope that’s a good thing?” 

“It is,” Tyler assured him. He pressed his lips against Joshs chin then sat up. “Wanna shower with me? We’re kinda uhhh-” He gestured to the mess between them.

“Gross?” Josh supplied with a grin, “Well I’m not gonna turn that offer down.”

Tyler got off Josh and Josh followed him into the bathroom where Tyler started up the water on the shower and they awkwardly waited until the water got warm enough to get in. It did not take long for them to realize this was not as great an idea as they had first thought it would be. If one of them were in the water the other was freezing and while it did it’s job of getting them clean it was not very relaxing or enjoyable.

“Okay Tyler, your shower is big and all but like there is not enough water happening here.” Josh finally said while standing to the side watching as Tyler got his hair wet. 

Tyler sighed and agreed, “I know I guess I didn’t think this through very well.” 

“Well, I mean, what if we tried a bath instead?” Josh suggested, trying to sound casual. It was a big bath tub after all. 

Tyler smiled and nodded, “You know what, that sounds great.” He used his foot to push down the plug for the drain and switched the water so it wasn’t coming from the shower head anymore. 

“You’re right,” Tyler commented dryly, “This is so much better.” Now they were both cold and shivering.

“My toes are warm?” Josh tried, grinning and wiggling his toes. 

Tyler sighed but that turned into a giggle which grew into full blown laughter. “Look at us Josh! Two grown men standing naked and cold in inch deep water.”

“We’re pathetic,” Josh laughed, eyes crinkling. “But look! The water depth has doubled!”

“Bren-” Tyler giggled and then tried to compose himself more before starting again, “Brendon’s gonna ask what we did, and-” Tyler couldn’t finish he just started laughing again. 

“Oh lord you can’t tell him about this disaster. Just tell him we had the hot sex’s and leave it there.”

Tyler shook his head, “The water depth has doubled!” His pitched his voice to try to sound like Josh’s.

“Dont mock me!” Josh enunciated his point with a sharp poke at Tylers stomach with his pointer finger. 

“Josh,” He shut off the water, “Now we’re standing and freezing our balls off in a full bathtub.”

Josh looked down in surprise and found that Tyler hadn’t been lying the tub water was full of warm water. He threw himself down into a sitting position and let out a pleased groan as the warmth engulfed him. “That’s SO much better.” He separated his knees and raised an eyebrow, “You just gonna stand there?”

Tyler blushed but turned himself around and slowly sunk down into the hot water, scooting backwards so his chest rested on Joshs. It was really the only way the both of them could fit. It felt oddly intimate though, the way Tyler just relaxed against Josh and Josh’s arms wrapped around him. 

“This is way better than the shower,” Josh hummed contently. 

Tyler nodded in agreement but couldn’t help that his mind just twisted the situation. It reminded him that as nice as this was, Josh wasn’t his to keep. He desperately wanted to be able to relax, to know for a fact that the man holding him cared about him. He wanted to take a cute selfie of them in the bath and post it to instagram and when his friends and family assumed it was his boyfriend they wouldn’t be wrong. Because this wasn’t his boyfriend. The tattooed arm Tyler was tracing with his own fingers belonged to a friend that he had gotten off with twice. It was hardly better than a one night stand really. 

It felt fake and Tyler knew it was getting him down. He really wanted to ask Josh if he wanted to make it official. Like really wanted to. But he didn’t want to scare him off or freak him out. He’d rather pretend there was someone special who cared about him than have to face the cold hard truth that he just wasn’t worth that.

“What’s on your mind?” Josh asked.

“Your voice sounds different in the bathroom. It’s got weird acoustics.”

“That’s what you were thinking about?” Josh asked.

Tyler shook his head, “No, but it’s true isn’t it?”

Josh hummed, “Yeh you’re right. The bathroom always made me think I could sing.”

“Do you sing in the shower, Joshua Dun?”

Josh shrugged, “Doesn’t everyone at least a bit?”

Tyler nodded, “I think so. I do.”

“What do you sing?” 

Tyler grinned slyly, “Beat it.”

Josh snorted and tilted his back in contained laughter, “Well played, well played.”

“Thank you,” Tyler said and with that they fell into a comfortable silence. Both of them just relaxing, (as should be done after such strenuous activity). When the water got uncomfortably cold they got out and Tyler passed Josh a fluffy white towel. Josh just patted down his legs and chest then rubbed his hair once with it before wrapping it around his waist. 

“Do you, er, need another towel?” Tyler asked, wrapping his own towel around his waist. 

“What?” Josh’s face crinkled in confusion, “No?”

“But like,” Tyler poked a water droplet that was thriving on Josh’s shoulder. “Wet.”

Josh just started laughing and led the way out of the bathroom and towards Tyler’s room. It took Tyler a minute to catch up because now he was confused. Would Josh really not dry off? Apparently not, Josh had already put on his pants and was picking out a shirt from his duffel bag when Tyler wandered in. And his back was still shining with water!

“I just folded up the towel im not sure where I can put it?” Josh ended the statement as a question as he pulled a black tshirt over his head. Tyler’s jaw almost dropped.

“Well it doesn’t need to be hung since all the water is on your shirt now,” Tyler said sarcastically. And again Josh just laughed and pulled on his socks and applied his deodorant. 

Tyler decided he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this and dressed himself too. “Wanna go for a walk?” 

“Heck yeah!” Josh was gone in a whirlwind towards the door to pull on his shoes and Tyler was left pleasantly amused and wondering how on earth Josh could have so much energy even though it was nearly midnight. Well it was ten pm. Whatever.

“Hurry up, Tyler!” Josh called from the front of the house and Tyler smiled, pulling on his new hoodie as he walked down the hallway.  
“Ya think it’ll be sweater-cold?” Josh asked concerned, he hadn’t even packed a sweater.

Tyler shrugged and grabbed his keys off the rack. He locked the door behind him and Josh and they set off down the street, walking next to each other and god if Tyler wasn’t just dying to grab Josh’s hand. The sun had only just gone down and the night air was just cool enough to be pleasant. 

They walked around Tyler’s neighborhood until they came across a nice little playground. As soon as it came in view Josh broke into a sprint towards the lone swing calling out, “Dibs!” as he ran. Soon they were face to face, josh lightly swinging back and forth on his toes and Tyler sitting cross legged in front of him, absently fiddling with the pebbles he was sitting on. 

“Dude. we used to have this park by my house when I was a kid-” Josh started and then he launched into a story about his territorial war with this other 10 year old down the street. But Tyler wasn’t really listening as attentively as he should have been. He was distracted thinking about just how much liked Josh. He almost felt teary-eyed just thinking about how blessed he felt that this gorgeous, kind, and genuine boy actually wanted to spend time with him. He was distracted watching how Josh’s face scrunched up when he talked about this punk kid he used to live by, and he was distracted by the way he tilted his head back and squinted his eyes when he laughed. 

He hummed and nodded along to Josh’s story as he told it but he was not listening. 

“Can you believe this kid does this then goes to my mom as if I’m the dickhead causing problems?” Josh shook his head and chuckled, “My mom called bs and told him, so she says, ‘not possible my Joshua is an angel it must be your fault’, and this kid is just shocked like he probably thought i was such a suck up to my parents but whatever. As soon as I got home that day my mom and dad spent like an hour yelling at me for starting problems as the park but she fronted well to that kid.”

Tyler smiled and nodded, “She had your back in the public eye at least.”

“Exactly! That kid thought he failed at getting me in trouble and lets be real that’s the important part.” Josh laughed again then sighed in contentment and made eye contact with Tyler. They just stared at eachother for awhile. Tyler bit his lip, the tugging in his chest was getting worse and worse and he wished so hard he knew what Josh was thinking, what Josh was feeling.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Josh asks. And again Tyler is forced to make that decision on if he is honest or if he makes something up to change the subject. 

“Would you, uh, actually nevermind.” Tyler had started but he caught himself. He couldn’t believe he had let himself be so stupid. He couldn’t risk this, Josh was too special. He didn’t want to mess this up before it even really started. 

Besides, his mind supplied unhelpfully, give it a month and he’ll be gone back to Ohio. 

“Oh, okay, um cool,” Josh nodded and great now things were getting awkward. Tyler mentally gave himself a sarcastic pat on the back, he really handled that one well. 

“We should probably get back to my house,” Tyler said, unfolding himself from the ground and standing up with a stretch. 

“Good call,” Josh agreed and slid off the swing. As they walked back Tyler’s heart almost exploded out of his chest when Josh slid his hand into his own. 

It was actually midnight when they got back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again for how long it took to update. and no matter how long it takes for the next one, i promise it will come. im not abandoning this


	13. break up and fall apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost completely angst sorry. But it'll get better soon.

“You said one of your short term goals was to get back to work, correct?”

“It’s the only reason I’m even here,” Tyler grumbled back.

“Okay so if you want that to happen you need to work with me, alright?” Ms Morgan asked, her tone was patient and thankfully not sympathetic.

Tyler only shrugged in return.

“Before we tackle your anxiety I’d like to talk about your depression.” She continued despite not getting any kind of verbal response from Tyler.

Tyler scowled, “I didn’t wanna talk about it last week and -shocker- i don’t want to today either,” He snapped, eyes narrowed at the therapist.

She only sighed in response and nodded, “I know that but you’re well being is important. Let's make it a bit easier. Let's talk about Brendon, your roommate.”

Tyler rolled his eyes.

“He helps you out a lot, right?” When Tyler nodded she continued, “So, and correct me if I’m wrong, but he must keep a pretty close eye on you and how you are doing, right?”

“Yeh,” Tyler's voice cracked when he answered. 

“Has he noticed a change in your behaviour since I saw you last year?”

Tyler swallowed thickly and nodded.

“Okay can you elaborate,” Tyler started shaking his head but she continued anyways, “Not on what you have felt change but tell me what he’s noticed is different.” 

Tyler chewed on his lip till he tasted blood but then, without looking up, finally answered her. “He, uh, probably just that I’m tired a lot. On my days off I mean. When I’m working I’m, I mean he’d notice that I’m, er, happier?”

“Okay, but when you weren’t working what would your day look like?”

“Um mostly just napping and watching tv and stuff.” Tyler sunk back into his chair. 

Ms Morgan nodded and smiled a little bit, “And do you have any friends in your life other than Brendon?”

“Uh, yeh, people from work. Sometimes Brendon brings people around. I have a um,” Tyler grimaced, “New friend, he’s named Josh.” 

“And you wouldn’t spend your days off with them? Why not?”

Tyler shut his eyes and clenched his fists tight in his lap. Why wouldn’t he? Cause he didn’t want to? What a stupid reason! He couldn’t say that, she’d think he was pathetic. He hated these sessions so much.

“Tyler?” Ms Morgan called gently and Tyler his grit his teeth and nodded in response. “Are you alright? Want to take a break?” 

Tyler sucked in a deep breath and shook his head. “It’s just stupid.”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid, Tyler. Would you rather I give a guess?”

Tyler ran a hand through his hand and then he shut his fingers and tugged sharply at his hair before he shook his head and whispered, “No.”

“Okay,” Patient as always, “Will you tell me then? You know I won't pass judgement, Tyler.”

“I just,” Tyler trailed off for a few moments, “Don't want to? Like even waking up when my days serves no, no, no, uh, purpose is hard enough. I don’t want to be around anyone, I just want to go back to sleep so I can wake up to a different day, a better day.”

“You aren’t working right now, so do your days still look the same as that?” She asked gently.

“Sometimes.”

“And on the days that don’t, what are you doing?”

“I’ll hang out with my friend Josh or with Brendon.” Tyler let go of his hair.

Ms Morgan smiled again, “That’s good, Tyler! Does Josh help you like Brendon?”

Tyler sighed, “He doesn’t know. But he helps in a different way, you know?”

“By just being there?”

Tyler nodded with his lips pursed. 

“In the past you’ve refused antidepressants.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“I don’t need pills,” Tyler spat, “I just need to work.”

“I understand that you don’t want to rely on medi-” Before the therapist could finish Tyler interrupted her.

“I’ve taken them before and i’m not doing it again. They kill me.” 

She pursed her lips but nodded, “That is your decision, I’m not going to push you into anything. What about something to help with your anxiety, though?” At Tyler's salty expression she changed her angle, “That is your biggest hurdle to cross before being allowed to work again.”

Tylers expression softened but he didn’t answer her.

“Can you explain to me why you don’t want to at least give it a try?”

“I already told you, I have.” 

“You’ve tried anti-anxiety medication?”

Tyler sighed, “No.”

“Is there a reason you don’t want to?” She prompted gently.

“I dont- I shouldn’t need medications just to, i don't know, function like every other person does.” he paused but continued before Ms Morgan could respond, “And before you tell me, yes I know lots of people have anxiety and lots of people take meds for it, but that’s not me! It’s not bad enough I just need to get over myself. I can do this by myself and I don't need drugs to make me okay.”

“No you don’t need them, however you also don’t need to make life even more difficult than it already is. And anxiety is a mental illness, Tyler, it’s not something you can just get over. And the fact that you can’t doesn’t make you any less, it just means that something, like medications, can be a lot of help for you.”

Tyler wiped at his eyes trying to hide his unshed tears. He didn’t want meds, it was that simple. But he also really did not want to have to hide in the bathroom so no one would see his panic attack from messing up placing his mcdonald's order. He didn’t like paying double for his pizza delivery because the idea of asking the pizza guy why the coupon wasn’t applied would make his throat close up. 

“Hey Tyler, deep breaths for me.” Ms Morgans voice broke through the fog that was already starting to muddle up his head. He knew she was right he had to breath. “Stop holding your breath, take a breath.”

He listened to her and sucked in a gasping breath before trying to even out his breathing. 5 things he can see: Ms Morgan, the desk, his black jeans, the clock on the wall- oh no he’s running over time she must be so irritated with him! Now he’s wasting her time too and what if she had another appointment after this? Now he’s wasting a stranger's time too! And Brendon is waiting outside for him so he’s wasting his time too. He’s wasting air. He holds his breath again and pulls hard at his hair. 

5 things he can see: the tears on his hand. Why is he crying? That’s pathetic! He can’t even hold a conversation with a lady who is trained to not trigger a panic attack why would he deserve to talk to normal people? They’d laugh, because he’s a wreck. What about when this inevitably happens in front of Josh? Oh god no Josh is going to leave him. Even if he can put up with Tyler he’s going back to Ohio after the summer, and he’ll forget about Tyler. He’ll be glad to have an excuse to drop him because he’s an b u r d e n.

Pity. That’s why brendon still puts up with him. He can’t even think. He releases his breath and sucks in a few very quickly before holding his breath again, his hands are buried in his greasy hair. His scalp hurts. He sobs and pulls harder. 

She’s counting to ten but he hears “This is pathetic, you’re a mess.” 

Get over yourself. But he can’t breath and he’s freaking out because he can’t breath, why can’t he breath? He knew he had to calm down, he’d done this before. He hit himself with his open palm against the side of his head a total of three times before her hand stopped him. Why was she touching him? He needed to snap out of it and she was stopping him! He sucked in another breath but this time he couldn’t stop sucking in breaths, practically panting trying to catch his breath. 

Finally, with some help from Ms Morgan, he was breathing regularly but as soon as he wasn’t overwhelmed by panic he felt so guilty, so pathetic, and so useless he broke down into body wracking sobs, hiding his face behind his hands and crying out, “I’m sorry,” on repeat though the words were muffled by tears and his hands. 

“Hey Tyler, buddy, can I touch your shoulder?” Brendons voice cut through his gasping sobs and he nodded frantically. With permission, Brendon rested a hand on Tyler's shoulder and squeezed gently but firmly. 

“You’re safe, Tyler just breath with me okay? In for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and out again for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Good job Tyler keep breathing with me. Can I have your hand?” Brendon asked, holding his free hand out and closing it when Tyler placed his shaking hand in it. 

“I’m a mess Bren, I’m so tired of it.” Tyler mumbled, his eyes downcast and still red and puffy from his attack.

“Hey now, Tyler, don’t talk like that. Positive words, you’re doing really well considering your circumstances.”

“Can we please just get out of here?” Tyler mumbled. 

Brendon nodded, “of course, let me help you up.” 

Tyler, too tired to even argue, let Brendon help him to his feet and guide him out of the therapist's office. 

“I already talked to Ms Morgan and said goodbye, you're free to go for today.” 

Tyler only sullenly nodded in response his eyes downcast and shoulder sunk. He hated the eyes on him as he walked past the waiting room and out into the passenger seat of Brendons car. Brendon tried to get him to open up but Tyler kept his lips pursed shut and his eyes closed the entire drive home, and that didn’t change when they got home as Tyler just went directly to his room and collapsed on the bed. 

SENT: Josh  
Can you call??

Received: Josh  
Sure 

Right after that Tyler’s phone buzzed telling him he had an incoming call. He slid the green bar over, effectively answering the call.

“Hey Tyler!” Josh’s chipper voice rung over the speaker and Tyler pressed the speaker button so he wouldn’t have to hold up the phone.

He cleared his throat and tried to sound as chipper as he could, “Hiya Josh.”

Tylers efforts were fruitless though as Josh responded, his tone serious now and concerned, “You okay there, Tyler?”

Tyler sniffed and wiped away silent tears, “‘Course I am. Jus’ tired.”

“You sound sad.”

Tyler had to choke back a sob, unable to stop the silent tears that leaked from his eyes. “Can you please just talk to me?” He whispered. “Tell me, uh, about your day.”

Josh still sounded worried (pitying, his mind supplied), “Can do. Are you okay though?”

Tyler just hummed, “Brendons in the apartment.”

Tyler wouldn’t ever know how much that reassurance both calmed and scared Josh. He was relieved that Tyler wasn’t alone but scared that Tyler thought that it would be a problem if he was.

“Okay, um, good. Well I didn’t do anything exciting today. Just chilled around the house. Watched some xfiles and stuff. I got to sleep in which was nice. My mum phoned today!” And Josh continued just filling the silence. Tyler only hummed in response.

Brendon checked on him at one point and found Tyler fast asleep while Josh’s tinny voice droned on about the weather in Ohio, unbothered by the lack of response. 

\---

Tyler woke up with an uncomfortable crick in his neck and his phone was dead. He didn’t bother plugging it in, instead he just fixed his pillow so his neck wasn’t strained and stared at the wall with a frown on his face. He was thinking about how he had fallen asleep talking Josh and he felt a sharp pang in his chest that reminded him that he needed to get over Josh fast. He wouldn’t allow himself to get involved with someone who would only last a month. He’d never been in a real relationship and he didn’t need to start now, surely?

But god did he want to. He wanted to spend every minute he had with Josh. Josh who talked him to sleep without even being afforded a well deserved explanation. Josh with his dumb smile and his dumb abs and his dumb nice-ness and it was just dumb. Feeling like this was dumb. Feeling like this for someone who was leaving in a month was even dumber. 

“I’m so dumb.” Tyler croaked out loud. He rolled onto his back and rubbed at his face hard, trying to work himself up to the torturous task of getting out of bed. He spent about thirty minutes trying to psych himself up before a gentle knock sounded on his door.

“Come in B.”

Sure enough it was Brendon who cracked the door open. He was holding a cold glass of water and a piece of cheesecake. “Come on sit up, I brought cake.”

Tyler was dismayed to find he was crying again and tried to hide it from Brendon but the other boy noticed of course.

“Tyler, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just…” He sighed, “Sad. And you’re so nice even though I’m being a whiny bitch and it feels like i don't deserve it. I should just rot in bed.” 

Brendon frowned sadly, “Don’t say that, Ty. It’s not true.”

Tyler only shrugged and sipped at his water. “It’s so much worse without work.”

“Your depression?” 

“I feel hopeless. Useless. And just so fucking sad i don't get it.” Tyler wiped at his eyes again with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“You don’t get what?” Brendon asked, grabbing one of Tyler's hands in his own.

“Just how I can feel so shitty. I don’t know. I can’t describe it.” Tyler sobbed, “I don’t feel safe alone right now.” It was hard to say but he knew Brendon needed to know. He tried not to notice the tears welling in Brendon's eyes.

“Then you won't be alone. I’m here for you Ty.” Brendon pulled him into a tight hug. 

“You gotta work.”

“Josh can come over.”

“Josh can’t, he can’t know.” Tyler argued.

“Can’t know what?” Brendon pulled back from the hug slowly.

Tyler swallowed heavily, “That I’m a nutcase. He thinks I’m normal. Mostly.”

“Josh is a good guy, I know he wouldn’t judge you.” Brendon said earnestly.

Tyler only sighed in response.

“How about I help you out of bed and you can finish your food in the kitchen.” 

Tyler really did not want to get up but he knew it would make Brendon happier so he nodded and accepted Brendons offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit shorter than most of them but I really didn't want to accidentally let it go as long as I did last time without an update so I just wanted to get this posted. Also I promise there will be more Josh in the next chapter.


	14. My pretty weeper

After Tyler was pulled out of bed, dragged into the kitchen, and forced to eat and drink a bit it was decided that Josh would in fact be coming over and that Tyler had an hour to get ready. Josh, unsurprisingly, agreed within the minute after the text was sent. 

Fifteen minutes before Josh was supposed to arrive Brendon had to leave if he wanted to be at work only a little bit late. “Are you gonna be alright for like 15 mins? I’ll stay if not like that’s cool I promise.”

“Dont be condescending,” Tyler snapped from his place squished into the far left side of the couch. “I dont need a babysitter. I’m fine just go.”

“Chill man you know I’m not being an ass. I’m sorry if it sounded like it, I’m just worried is’all.” Brendon countered.

Tyler sighed and rubbed his eyes, “I know and I’m sorry. Mood swings. My fault not yours, really I’m good for 15 minutes though just get to work.” 

Brendon hesitated for several seconds then nodded and turned to leave as he said “Okay. Okay. But just text or call me if you need to okay?”

“Mhmm” Tyler hummed and nodded.

Tyler didn’t actually move at all in the time he was alone. He just sat on the couch and stared at the wall across from him. He was tired but not sleepy so while he would have liked to take a nap he knew it wouldn’t be happening. Besides, Josh was coming over and he wasn’t going to be that bad of a host. 

The knocking on the front door didn’t snap Tyler out of his daze, but he did force himself to get up and walk to the door when the doorbell rang. He pulled open the door and couldn’t help but to smile when he saw Josh. He instantly pulled Josh into a hug; a big hug where Tyler could wrap himself around Josh almost like a koala. His face was pressed into Josh neck and he held on tight. 

“Hey man,” Josh greeted wrapping his own arms Tyler to hug him back just as tightly. “How you doing?” 

Tyler was about to respond, with a blatant lie about being good of course, but then he looked up at Joshs face for the first time since the boy had arrived and he grinned.

“Your hair! I love it!” Tyler ran a hand into Joshs hair, it was soft from the recent dye job.

“You mentioned thinking pink was a good idea,” Josh trailed off and shrugged. 

“It looks amazing, you look amazing. Guess I can’t call you red haired idiot anymore.” Tyler smiled again.

Josh chuckled, “That’s why I really did it.” Not to cheer up Tyler nope not at all.

“Ah you’re a good thinker” Tyler tapped his temple and looked back at Joshs hair. He did really like it. It was bright and just...happy looking. The colour was cute on Josh too, kinda ruffled and brushing his eyebrows. He snapped himself out of his dazed staring and stuttered out an apology.

“Ummmm come on in,” Tyler said as he led Josh into the living room. “I don’t really have anything planned to do or anything. I was just thinking we would figure something out or something I guess.” Tyler shrugged and scratched at his neck while he spoke. 

Josh nodded, “Yeah that’s cool. I was actually thinking, do you wanna go out?”

Tyler flinched and bit his lip shaking his head, “Not really. Kinda feeling homely if you know what I mean?”

“Coffee is on me?” Josh offered and when Tyler didn’t reply right away he continued with, “If not we can totally stay in too. I don’t mind honest.”

“No no yeah lets uh, lets go. I know this local cafe that’s really nice.” Tyler decided.

Josh’s face lit up with a giant grin, “Awesome man I’m hype! Lets roll out?”

Tyler agreed and pulled on his shoes. He considered taking off his hoodie since there was no AC outside but ultimately couldn’t bring himself to do it, finding too much comfort in the fluffy, thick sweater. He was thankful that Josh, in his t-shirt, didn’t mention it. 

They walked side by side, Tyler technically leading the way. 

“I'm sorry.” Tyler mumbled out part way through their trek.

“What?” Josh asked.

“I'm sorry.”

“I, uh, yeah I heard you. I'm just- you don't have anything to be sorry for.” Josh was watching Tyler closely now.

“The phone call last night,” Tyler sighed and shrugged, “and I'm being shitty today too. I'm sorry.”

Josh smiled kindly, genuinely, “Hey Ty-guy don't sweat it, okay? You can call me whenever I promise. And you're allowed to be... “ Josh paused to consider his words carefully, “To be tired and like down around me okay? I just like being with you. Ups or downs. I don’t want you to stress about, like, keeping up appearances or anything with me, just be comfortable.”

Tyler not-so subtly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Thanks Jish.” 

Josh, a bold move, wrapped an arm around Tyler's shoulders and pulled him close, “You got it my man.” 

The blush that went from Tyler's forehead and right down his neck was very obvious and so was the embarrassed whine that followed. 

“You're cute when you blush,” Josh teased. 

“Shut up.” Tyler rebutted, only blushing more. “You're not allowed to flirt with me.”

“Oh?” Josh said, tone light and teasing, “Says who?”

“Me, obviously.”

“Well. Why not, hmmm?” Josh asked right into Tyler's ear. 

“Cause I'm trying to be cool.” Tyler mumbled back.

“You're the coolest dude I know Ty.” Josh promised. 

“Not when you've got me blushing and stuttering like a 14 year old!” Tyler scoffed back. 

Josh pulled his arm off Tyler and stepped away, “Hey I can stop if you really want me to!”

“Rude.” Tyler pouted and pulled Josh's arm back around him. 

“I just can't win, can I?” Josh laughed. 

“Mmm,” Tyler pretended to consider it, “Nope I guess not.”

Josh pointed ahead, “Is that the place?” 

Tyler grinned and nodded, “Yep.”

When they got closer to the building Josh let go of Tyler and they walked in together, finding a seat in a booth sitting next to each other. The cafe had full table service so each of them placed their orders and handed back the menus. 

“So… um, how's your aunt?” Tyler asked, doing a fairly poor job at sparking some conversation. 

“Oh, good. Yeah she's good.” Josh answered, nodding his head to agree with himself. 

“That's good.” Tyler said also nodding. 

They both awkwardly checked their phones at the same time which made Tyler short in amusement. 

“What?” Josh asked, brow furrowing. 

“We both had the same anxious ‘check our phones to break the tension’ habit,” he explained with a small grin. 

“Oh wow you're right,” and with that they were back into the flow of things. They talked about other weird habits they have and Tyler talked about one time his mom tried to set him up with a girl and how horribly awkward the whole date was.

“See,” Tyler began, “She was really into me. That's why my mum set us up. But I'm like exclusively gay. Like with a trademark. But i wasn't out then cause I was like 15 I think? And I was trying to be polite but I'm so frickin awkward.” 

Josh was trying to contain his laughter, they're in public after all, “No Tyler this is like straight out of a movie I swear.”

“I know! But it did happen I promise. Anyways by the end of it she sent my mum this like really formal email thanking her for setting up the date but asking her to kindly tell me she wasn't interested.” Tyler shook his head and took a drink of his hot chocolate. 

“Wait she rejected you through an email… to your mom?” Josh clarified. 

“Yep,” Tyler nodded sadly, “It was a disaster from start to finish.” 

“Jesus. Does your mom know now that you're not into girls?” Josh asked and when he saw Tyler's face fall he took the question back right away, “I mean, sorry Tyler that was rude. You don't have to answer that.”

Tyler shrugged, “No it's fine, you can ask personal questions I don't really mind. I told her but it's just a crappy situation you know. She's one of those parents that like makes you say it's a phase and you didn't mean it? I refused to so we haven't really spoken since I moved out here.”

Josh bit his lip and nodded, “That’s shitty man, I’m sorry.”

Tyler nodded, “Yeah it sucks. And it got me down for awhile but it’s been a couple years and I guess I’ve come to terms with things? Honestly, I think if I tried to talk to them now they’d probably be willing to get over it but I’m not ready for that. I’m more salty than hurt now.”

“And that’s totally fair. You don’t owe them anything.” Josh agreed.

Tyler sighed, “I really miss my siblings though. We’re friends on facebook and all that but I miss them.”

“You think you’ll visit them anytime soon?”

“I hate Columbus. It just- okay so in highschool I was just so miserable all the time and even thinking about my hometown brings me back to that. I have a savings account set up, though, and I really hope that someday I could fly them all out here to see Cali and meet Brendon and you know see my house and stuff.” Tyler rambled along, tracing the lid of his cup and watching it while he spoke.

“I feel you on that. The longer I’m here the more I like it. It’s really rainy and gloomy in Ohio and that rubs off on ya.” Josh was also watching Tyler’s fingers. He watched as the stopped and then Tyler looked up at him.

“Do you think you’d ever,” Tyler hesitated and sucked in a breath before continuing, “I don’t know. I moved here and it was really good for my,” he waved his hand through the air as he thought of how he wanted to phrase what he was saying, “mental health? Maybe ummm sorry, what I’m trying to ask is like would you- do you think you’d ever not go back to Ohio?” 

Josh swallowed thickly and took a bit to answer as he stewed on Tyler’s question. “It probably sounds stupid, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be away from my family that… um full time. Like even just this summer. I love it here, and you’ve made things just amazing. But I think of my siblings, and honestly of my mum, everyday. They bug me and they’re kinda stiff but I would really miss them.” 

Tyler did his best to not allow his disappointment to show on his face as he nodded along to Josh. It’s not like he didn’t understand what Josh was saying, everything he was saying was sensible and fair, but that didn’t mean it didn’t cause his heart to seize up at the thought of losing Josh from his life in… only 4 weeks. Oh god. 

“Yeah that makes sense. And you know it’s good that you have a good relationship with your family. I sometimes wish I had done more to keep a bridge between my parents and I but I was pissed and 18.” Tyler took a drink of his coffee that finished it off. 

“When I go back home you could visit me and your siblings maybe? Someday.” Josh smiled sadly. 

Tyler sighed heavilly and rested his elbows on the table, leaning towards Josh, “When you go back home,” He cleared his throat, “We’re gonna stay in touch, right? Like we wont say we’ll talk but not right?”

Josh grabbed Tylers hand and held serious eye contact, “Of course. And I wont be in school so I’ll be working lots so I’ll be able to afford flying down here all the time.”

Tyler squeezed his hand and nodded, “Good.” He stared into Joshs eyes just thinking. Thinking about how much he desperately wanted Josh to call him his, for Josh to just stay in california and visit Columbus instead of living there. He was terrified that Josh would leave and forget about him or decide he wasn’t worth the 6 hour flight just to see him. But then again, even if Josh stayed here, why would he want to date Tyler? He knew he was a pain in the ass and he’d probably be clingy and weird and-

“Tyler.” Josh interrupted his train of thought, and he looked back up at Josh in response. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing I guess. Sleeping.”

Josh anxiously twirled his hair around the fingers of his free hand and he was chewing on his lip. “Do you maybe want to go out. With me. Tonight.” He laughed breathilly, “On a… date?”

Tylers brain short circuited. Josh wanted to go on a date? There’s no way he could mean like an actual romantic date. He knew his mouth was slightly open and that he should probably reply but there’s no way he heard that right. “Like an actual gay date?!” He finally spat out.

Josh smiled softly and ran his fingers over Tylers knuckles, “Yeah. A gay date.”

“Yeah! Um yeah sure, for sure. Tonight. A-a yes.” Tylers heart was beating fast and he wasn’t sure if it was mostly anxiety or excited. Probably equal parts of each. 

“Awesome,” Josh breathed out in relief and he grinned. “Um so is it cool if we head back to your place,” he checked the time on his phone, “and then in like two-ish hours at 6 I can swing back and we can head out together? I was thinking that italian place over here.” he was talking quick, excitement showing. 

Tyler couldn’t help but smile back at Josh as he nodded, “That sounds great.”

The walk back to Tyler's house was blessedly not awkward at all. Josh kept the conversation going as Tyler mostly just listened and grinned. He managed to keep it together until the door had shut and Tyler was back in his own house and then he felt his chest tightening and he started gasping. Hands back in his hair he sat down in front of the couch and tried to reason with himself. 

“He’s not staying but he asked and there’s, oh god, there’s no way he was s-s-serious.” He choked on his own words wiped his eyes and he tried to slow down his breathing pulling his hair and trying to focus on the sting on his scalp instead of how many ways he could mess up a date with Josh. A date! He’d never even been on a serious date with someone he liked. 

Tyler finally focussed enough to fumble with his phone. 

To: Beebo  
Heyyy when di you think youll br home

From: Beebo  
15 mins omw alrdy why u ok??/?

To: Beebo  
Yeh yeh im g just hve some news

Tyler practiced how he was going to tell Brendon about his date until the other boy got home. Tyler waited patiently on the couch, watching as Brendon walked in, called out a greeting, took off his shoes and hung up his keys and finally walked into the living room. 

“So, come on! What’s up?” He sat down next to Tyler, one leg folded on the couch so he could be comfy and face Tyler. 

“Well. Josh and I went out and got coffee today,” Tyler pointedly ignored the relivieved look on Brendons face, “and we were just like chatting and stuff and then…” Tyler trailed off and was thankful Brendon didn’t interrupt but let him recollect himself before blurting out “Josh asked me out on a date like a real date like a gay date and its tonight. For dinner!” 

“Yes Tyler!” Brendon cheered, grinning like a mad man, “Aw man my little baby is all grown up!”

“Shhh up Brenny. I dont know what to do on a date!” Tyler banged his palm on his forehead.

“Okay, serious time.” Brendon said, “It sounds wiki-how cheesy but just try to keep your cool and be yourself. Josh already likes you, so you’ve nailed the hard part. Just try to enjoy yourself.”

“I’m so nervous.” 

“Just do what you normally do when you guys hang.” 

“It’s not- it’s not just the date. I mean like what does this date mean for us?” Tyler stressed.

Brendon frowned a bit, “Well okay, so do you want to date Josh? Like are you thinking boyfriend material or nah?”

“Brendon there’s not much I’d rather do right now than date Josh. I really really like him. But in a month he’s moving back to-”

Brendon interrupted, “Woah woah woah wait. He’s moving in a month?” 

Tyler sighed and nodded sadly, “He is. Back home to columbus, he’s just here for the summer. And if he wasn’t moving I wouldn’t be so scared but I don’t want him to leave and it’s just gonna be even worse if we date for a bit first.” 

“Have you talked to him about this?”

“We’ve talked about why he has to move back but not about dating. We haven’t had a chance.”

Brendon considered this for a moment before he responded. “Don’t bring it up on your date tonight. But talk about it soon, maybe tomorrow? If you don’t think it’s worth the heartbreak, Ty, then speak up. Let him know it’s just not going to work.”

“Okay. I really want it to work though.” 

“Hey,” Brendon patted him on the back, “Talk to Josh. And tell him that. But not tonight, let yourself enjoy the date first.”

Tyler thanked Brendon and gave him a hug before he went to his room to start getting ready.

“Holy crap. I’m going on a date with Josh.” Tyler said to himself staring at his closet with apprehension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHHH MY GOD @myself
> 
> Me: I'll update way more often now!  
> Me: Doesn't update for 6 months.
> 
> I'm so so sorry guys. I have reasons for not updating of course but I'm not gonna bore you with excuses. I'm just... so sorry. The promise stands; I'm never just quitting on this fic it WILL have an ending and I don't think it'll be all that soon. I think we're prolly halfway through the story at this point? 
> 
> Again. I really truly apologize and I hope you guys can forgive me and keep on reading when I DO update.  
> I <3 you all.
> 
> Also I finished this chapter at 3am so pls tell me if something doesn't make sense.


End file.
